The Amazing ShamWow

okay, so the name is terrible, and the guy selling them has on a stupid microphone depsite the fact that he isn't peaking to a stadium of people, but the ShamWow towels look pretty cool. Yeah, I know, they're supposed to look great, it's a commercial. But you can only fake so much absorption, right? When he soaks up all that soda from the swatch of carpet without any pressure or even much time, I must admit I really wanted a ShamWow. The only thing that really suprises me about this commercial is the fact that the OxyClean guy isn't involved (probably explains the bad name). That guy sells the greatest products. His latest commercials are for Mighty Putty and I want some of that too - he shows it fixing all sorts of things and holding shelves and even being strong enough to tow a truck! Fortunately I don't buy things off TV (probably the only medium I won't shop in, right honey?). And I guess I don't really have any need for Mighty Putty. But I still want a ShamWow.

author's note: this entry might be slightly random and rambling - don't blame me, I'm hopped up on cold medicine.

Stardust

My husband and I watched Stardust last night and I really enjoyed it. It didn't get very good reviews, but I can't say that I understand why - I thought it was good. It is sort of in the same vein as The Princess Bride - a fun, fanciful fantasy for the whole family (wheeeeeeee, alliteration). The characters were all charming and entertaining and I thought the story was delightful. I highly recommend it and hope you feel the same.

More Rabbits Please

It hasn't been on for a while, but I really liked the commercial for Volkswagon Rabbit that played up the reproductive aspects of actual rabbits. It started with a few of the cars driving aorund, and quickly the numbers increased until the streets were full of them. I especially liked that some had different colored doors or hoods like they were mixed breed between black and white cars. Clever and funny. We need more ads like that.

The Incredibles

I have seen the Incredibles several times in the past week and I have been reminded just how good it is. There are not many movies that bear up to multiple veiwings in a short span of time without becoming tiresome, but this is one. My husband remarked that it was about time they make a sequel and I agree - bring on The Incredibles 2!!

author's note: I have been sick for a week and I am in no mood to be witty or long winded - hence this short and fairly dull entry.

Prevention is the Best Medicine

I saw a commercial a few weeks back for Humana Gold Plus health insurance. This particular plan is a Medicare supplement, meaning that it covers whatever Medicare doesn't and is therefore only for seniors. What I thought was great however, was that this plan comes with a gym membership in many areas. Obviously Humana believes that it is worth a little expense to keep patients healthy and fit so that in the end they will end up needng less medical care. This is unusual thinking for an insurance company in my mind, and even more so for a Medicare supplement plan since Medicare itself doesn't share these views. In fact, Medicare will not pay for any annual check ups for its members,other than the initial evaluation needed within the first 6 months of obtaining Medicare. If more insurance companies took the view that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, maybe the healthcare situation in this country wouln't be so dire. (Of course there are many other issues that need fixing as well, but taking a focus on getting healthier seems like a good place to start)

The Polar Express

I just turned on the Polar Express thinking that it would be good for the kids and not so boring since I have never seen it before. Well, it has been on for about 20 minutes and I am in the other room on the computer so that should tell you something. I watched for about ten minutes until the whiny kid whose voice is clearly that of a 40 something New York mensch came on and then I was done. Icky computer animation is annoying enough without terrible characters too. Not my new Christmas favorite.

Gingerbread never sounded so gross

There is a new commercial for Shrek 3 on HD DVD that I find very disturbing. In it "Gingy" the gingerbread man character from the Shrek movies is calling some executives to complain about the new HD DVD veresion of Shrek 3. He says that the Hi Def picture makes him look too good and he wants to take a nibble. Gross. Then we hear a crunch followed by "Ow", and another crunch followed by "Ow, yummy." Gross and creepy. At least the executives have the decency to look a little sickened by the whole idea of a cookie man eating himself, but over all the whole commercial is in bad taste. Pun intended.

The Assassination of Jesse James

There is a new movie out called The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford. I believe it has been in theaters for a week. You may not have heard about it because there aren't any previews or advertisements for this movie. You may think that is because it is a small independent film that has no budget for such things, but let me assure you that is not the case. This movie stars Brad Pitt. I cannot believe that there wouldn't be any previews or anything for a movie starring one of the most famous movie stars currently working. Maybe the movie sucks, or maybe they figured the title was just too long and would take up all the time needed for a preview. Either way it is weird.

We Don't Want Your Stinking Opinion

There is a radio stataion in my area called JackFM that I think has made a grave error in marketing strategy. Their slogan is "we play what we want" and I happen to find this very offensive. I realize the meaning behind this is that they have more variety than a station who sticks with a typical playlist because they will play any song they feel like whenever they feel like it, but basing an entire station around the whole 'no requests ever' premise seems to me like a big F you to the listener. Every time I hear their ads saying "we play what we want" I hear a silent 'regardless of what you want to hear' on the end of that sentence, and it makes me not want to listen to their station. They may call it Jack, but I call it bull.

I Am Legend

I went to see I Am Legend expecting a fun diversion for a couple of hours with maybe a few decent thrills thrown in. I was totally unprepared for the way it affected me. This is not the most fabulous movie ever, even though it is good, but it really struck a cord with me for some reason. It is probably just lingering pregnancy hormons, but I found myself unable to shake the feeling of disconnection the movie left me with. I have been a fan of Will Smith for a very long time and I think he was absolutely incredible in this movie. He does an amazing job of portraying not only the lonliness of his situation, but also very subtly expressing a tightly wrapped desperation and increasing loss of sanity as well. The range of emotions he manages to reveal while keeping his face a mask of tightly held self control when faced with the loss of his best friend and only companion is something to see. I'm sure most people will not be affected by this movie the way I was, but I would still recommend it to anyone looking for a fun diversion for a few hours as well as some of Will Smith's best work.

Hooray for Puppies!

There is currently a commercial that I am finding hard to dislike even though it is incredibly stupid. It is a holiday themed commercial and a puppy is welcoming his puppy family into his home for Christmas. He calls them all Bro, Sis and Cuz, which I find terribly annoying, and there is no mention of the product until the very end when you see that it is an ad for Cottonelle toilet paper. Overall it is dumb and irritating, but I just can't resist it - there aren't many things cuter than labrador puppies. So while it is totally ineffective because I will not be switching to Cottonelle any time soon, I still look forward to it coming on so I can see the cute little dogs - I just have to mute that whole Cuz business.

Match the Music to the Message

Awesome

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMQt7ARAqXs

Some People Don't Want Cat Hair on Everything?

I like the new commercial for the Bissell Pet Hair Eraser where the couple has covered everything in their house, including themselves with plastic wrap. They are sitting there crinkling and rustling, and I'm sure that everyone out there watching who has pets can sympathize. Personally, I gave up a long time ago on keeping pet hair off of my clothes. I used to lint roll and try not to touch anything right before I left the house if I was wearing black and it was such a hassle. Finally, ony day I just said " you know what? I have cats. I'm going to to have cat hair on me and that's just the way it is." I feel so much freer now. Of course, I also never went anywhere nice so it didn't matter, and now I don't go anywhere at all so it matters even less. Which is probably good because who knows what is all over me now between the cats and two kids. As for the rest of my house, well, cleanliness is next to godliness so I guess me and God aren't that close. Fortunately one of my cats has taken to chasing his tail in the bathtub every night leaving copious amounts of hair (and I do mean copious- we're talking double handfuls every night!!). I say fortunately because it is easy to sweep out of the tub and it cuts down on his shedding everywhere else. Unfortunately it is hard to get every single hair so taking a bath might leave you a little fuzzy. That's just the way it is.

Statistical Sensationalism part II

One of my favorite blogs (although I don't understand half of the subject matter) had a post yesterday about statistics and their persuasive abilities. I have been thinking about this topic as well recently because of two instances where I have heard misleading information on television. The first was on an episode of Law and Order SVU where a victim had been subjected to genital mutilation as is common many places in Africa and other developing areas. The medical examiner on the show said that even though it is illegal in this country, some immigrants and aliens still perform the act, and "some 200,000 girls could be at risk." Now I have a problem with this statement. While it is most likely true, the way it was stated made light of the very important "could be" so that it sounded more like 'will be.' The result of this is that viewers might be shocked into believing that 200,000 girls would be subjected to this horrible procedure. The second error is that there is no time frame for when they would be potentially at risk - this year? The next ten years? This lack of reference to a time period makes it even more misleading and sensationalizes something that most likely is not very widespread in this country at all. The second statistic that bothers me is in a series of ads for autism (strangely enough it is narrated by Mariska Hargitay, one of the stars of SVU). In the commercial a typicall family situation will be shown - leaving instructions for a babysitter or teaching a kid to throw a ball, and there will be an opening statistic offered such as the odds of the babysitter needing to call 911 or the kids growing up to be a professional ball player. Invariably the odds are very slim that the normal seeming situation will happen. Then she tells us that the odds of a child being diagnosed with autism are 1 in 150 - much more likely - so we should help the foundatin or test our kids or whatever it is the commercial wants us to do (I usually am so ticked by the statistic that I don't listen to the end). So, does anyone see the problem here? I'll give you a minute to think about it. No? Well here's a hint - the key word is "diagnosed." That's right folks, that scary statistic isn't about the likelihood of your kid actually HAVING autism, just that he might be DIAGNOSED with it by some hack who probably graduated at the bottom of their class in medical school and can't tell the difference between Ausperger's syndrome and a video game induced stupor. Now, I could get started on the topic of the over diagnoses of kids today (what's the chance you will be told your kid has ADD - 1 in 3?), but that is a topic for another day. As for this, I'm going to look into the odds that a child mught actually have autism, and keep on throwing the ball to my kids.

In Sync

I like the new commercials for Sync - a new product that allow you to run your music and other devices in your car by voice command. My favorite is the one where people have gotten so used to having Sync that they try to apply voice control to other items - resulting in some fnuny incidents. The best are the guy running into a treadmill that has not started, and the girl crashing into a door that didn't open. They look so confused as to what went wrong. I don't particularly see the need for this product - especially since in one commercial it shows a guy pushing a button before speaking his voice command and I figure if you have to push a button to make it work, how is that really different from now? So I doubt I will be purchasing this product anytime soon, if ever, but I will keep on enjoying the ads - tv on!

This Commercial Has to Go

Yet another infuriating pharmacuetical commercial - this time for Detrol LA. In it a woman is sneaking to the bathroom so everyone won't know just how often she has to go. Stupid. Once she gets to the bathroom, the 'girl' symbol on the door hops off and enters with her to talk about Detrol LA. Even stupider. The woman then begins to take medical advice from a 2 dimensional cartoon drawing that moments ago was on the front off a door and is now sitting on a couch with her. So beyond stupid I don't have a word for it. The fact that the symbol gets life size when she gets down off the door and is small again when she gets back up - probably the least of this commercials problems but irritating nonetheless. I cannot even begin to express how idiotic this ad is - even writing this now I am almost dumbstruck (it's so bad its stupidity has spread!) by the fact someone would agree to film and broadcast this swill. If I'm visiting the restroom so often the sign begins to talk to me, either I have had way to much at the bar, or I will take its advice to see a doctor - only about my apparent hallucinations rather then my bladder. This commercial is so bad I feel it necessary to endorse a competing drug - for bladder issues ask your doctor about Enablex: I don't know if it works, but the perky little ballons in its commercials are way less annoying.

Super Sonic

I just love the commercials for Sonic where various people are sitting in their cars and having random conversations that sometimes relate to the food and sometimes don't. One of my favorites is the one with the two girls where one asks the other if she still eats a bowl of cookie dough after a bad date and her answer is that she is too old for that so she only eats half a bowl, or sometimes two. Her expression when her friend points out that two half bowls is a whole bowl is great. As a group the spots featuring the married couple are probably the best - the wife's delivery is fabulous. These commercials all feature members of Second City in Chicago, so they are probably improvised as well, which makes them even better in my mind. By the way, I've only been to Sonic once, but if you get a chance to go definitely order the cookie dough blast shake - awesome!!

Sounds of the Season

A Denver radio station has been advertising that from now until the New Year they will be playing only seasonal music, and I have to say this is a great marketing strategy if you are looking to have people boycott your station. Seriuosly, who wants to listen to Christmas music for 2 months straight? Not me! And before you label me a grinch, let me assure you that I enjoy the classic Christmas carols: Little Drummer Boy, Carol Of The Bells, Deck The Halls, etc. However, there are only so many variations of these that are tolerable - I am reminded of a CD we had at my last job that featured a version of O'Tannenbaum, sung by very operatic voices who not only weren't following the standard tune, they didn't even seem to be singing related notes. I actually only know what song it is supposed to be because I looked at the liner notes. Absolutely unbearable. My daughter plays better music with her plastic piano, which only has four keys and she plays with her fists. Of course, if you stick to the classics only, it is bound to get more than a little repetitive, which of course is why people are continually trying to write new Christmas songs. I can pretty much say that as a group these all blow. With the exception of Santa Baby and All I Need For Christmas Is You, there are no good modern Christmas songs* - and I think that's fine. I want to hear and sing the carols I grew up listening to - the classics are classics because they are good. There is absolutely no need for any new Christmas songs, except to fill the hours and hours of air time needed by idiot radio statoins that want to drive everyone crazy by playing nothing else.

*I would like to add Jingle Bell Rock and Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer to my list of acceptable modern Christmas songs.

Pony Rides for Everyone

You've got to love the new Verizon commercial where one girl gets a pony but is jealous of her friends' new Verizon cell phones. They are all staring at the pony with such disbelief, as it snarls and destroys a dog house - hilarious. It is such a great play on the fact that every little girl supposedly asks for a pony at some point, and the choice to make this one apparently rabid is great. "Does he bite?""yeah." So funny.
In other pony news, the Toyota commercial where the mother is talking on the phone about how much she saved on her new toyota (model?) and asks that her daughter not be told because she wants a pony is sort of funny too. Not so much the whole commercial itself which is actually kind of stupid, but definitely the little girl all dressed up in her horrible pink cowgirl outfit looking like she is about to launch herself at her mother in fury. Her expression is great, although of course telling your 6 year old she can't have a pony shouldn't be this big of a deal. But that kid is scary so maybe that explains it.

We Don't Need Your Charity

'Tis the season to be give, and also for countless commercials begging your donations and generosity for others. I firmly believe in helping out the less fortunate in any way possible, but some of these so called charities have gotten me a little peeved. I hear all kinds of commercials asking for donations of new toys or clothes or whatever, and to me this seems very greedy and more than a little tacky. I realize the desire to have new things, but come on people - this is charity. It might seem a little harsh, but in my opinion people in the position to need charity should be happy to have whatever they get - beggars can't be choosers as the saying goes. Now, this doesn't mean that they should get worn out or ruined things, but there are plenty of barel used toys and clothes out there that have a lot of life left in them and could use a new home and someone to love them. Forcing people to buy brand new items for donation is just feeding our already over-consuming culture and creating more and more garbage and cast off items. I hate throwing things out, and I end up filling my house because there are practically no places to donate things to anymore - earlier this year I tried to give some practically brand new window blinds to a thrift store and they wouldn't take them because they were used. Um, hello - thrift store! I will happily donate brand new food items (obviously an area where used isn't feasible), but beyond that I will only patronize charities like the Salvation Army or Goodwill whose goal is to minimize waste as well has helping the needy.
some charities who will take donations of used items:
The Salvation Army
Goodwill Industries
Vietnam Veterans of America
Soles4souls

Absolute-ly love it

The commercial where the fat guy jumps into the pool, swims its length, and emerges a perfectly toned model? Awesome. A creative twist on two of societies biggest issues: obesity and beer goggles.

Aquadots

Several weeks ago there was a recall for a toy called Aquadots. Apparently, when the small beads that make up this toy are ingested they turn into GHB - better known as the date rape drug. That's something isn't it? You give your kids something new to play with and suddenly they are zombies lying on the floor (I do have to admit though that this is sort of appealing in terms of long car rides - assuming of course you could manage it without an actual coma and risk of seizure). Now, a recall is absolutely necessary in this case, but I can't help thinking that any toy with tiny little beads should only be played with by kids who have outgrown the urge to put things in their mouths anyway. In fact, the packaging is labeled 4+ years, and of course the first case of a child being harmed after ingesting the beads was a 20 month old. I have a 20 month old and I would never knowingly let her play with any type of little beads, toxic or not, because she will undoubtedly put them in her mouth and I wouldn't want her to choke. So while I think whoever was watching that poor child was being somewhat negligent by letting them play with a toy that is inappropriate (here Tommy, play with this choking hazard), I guess I also have to thank them for bringing the toxicity of this toy to light. Hopefully their child recovers and no more children are harmed.

Amendment:
I wanted to add that I wonder how many creepy perverts out there heard about the recall and rushed out to get their hands on some free GHB for their personal use. I hope none, but you never know.

All I want for Christmas is a Power Drill

Another seasonal Lowe's commercial has me peeved. In this one a guy asks a female sales lady to help him pick out a gift for his wife. This dunce goes through riding lawnmowers, a leaf blower and various powertools before settling on a gift card. The general idea of the commercial is cute, and the characters aren't nearly as annoying as the stupid lady from the other commercial, but come on - it's a commercial for Lowes. Unless this guy is married to my mom (and if he is she has some explaining to do to my dad) he is still going to be in the dog house unless he wises up and realizes the place to shop for his wife is not a hardware store.

Lyric-huh?

There is a commercial for a new drug called Lyrica that has me confused. The drug is for fibromyalgia and it shows a woman in an art studio (I think she teaches classes in painting). She is reading an entry from a diary about the pain from fibromyalgia. My question is: who is this woman and why should I trust her knowledge of this drug? Usually characters in pharmaceutical commercials fall into two categories - a doctor or someone who suffers from the problems the drug supposedly fixes. That way you either have expert opinions or first hand testimony. But that is never clear in this commercial. Is the woman reading from her own diary or someone else's? Why is she teaching art? She never once says that she feels much better since she has been taking Lyrica so I don't fell like she has the disease and can really convince me the drug works, and as far as I know art teachers are not trustworthy judges or pharmaceutical efficacy. And the final straw is the woman's squeaky voice. Annoying all around.

A Classic Trend

There is a clear trend this winter of using the characters from the old TV Christmas classics like rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman in advertising. They have popped up in numerous commercials for Big Lots and Alltel, with varying degrees of success. My favorite, however, is the one for Aflac, where Rudolph has been injured and the duck (or is he a goose?) has to fill in. Aflac commercials are consistently among my favorites - love the one with the sheep - and this doesn't fail to amuse me. Oddly enough I never really cared for the Christmas shows themselves. I guess I can only tolerate the characters in 30 second spots.

Truth in Advertising

Shouldn't there be a little more truth in advertising these days? Ads for wrinkle cream should have old people in them, or at least someone over 35. I understand the motivation, and I certainly prefer looking at attractive people much more than I do total dogs, but there should still be some relevance in the people cast and the product they are selling. I'm pretty sure there are some models out there over the age of 50. Maybe it's her, maybe it's Maybelline? Well guess what? It's her. I can buy all the Maybelline I want- it ain't gonna make me look like those girls do. Commercials for cleaning products are also to blame. Squirting ink on a shirt seconds before washing it doesn't indicate stain fighting effectiveness - no stain sets that fast. And spraying cleanser on spills that are obviously fresh isn't helpful either - i could wipe that up with a paper towel alone. Show me some real, ground in messes! One particular commercial that has been brought to my attention is for Tide Pure Essentials with baking soda. It features a little boy and his blankie and the voice over is saying that the blankie is dirty and tattered, etc, except that it is clearly brand new. Would it have killed them to get an old blankie? Or at least drag the new one around the parking lot a few times to actually get it dirty? Stupid.

Star Power

Obviously, using celebrities to sell your items has been in practice since the dawn of advertising. "Real life testimonials" have also been popular, and it was only a matter of time until the two concepts were combined. The most evident of these are the Geico commercials where bizarre celebrities (Little Richard, Charo) are used to help regular customers tell their stories. I find these fairly enjoyable - it varies depending on the celebrity but overall they are pretty funny. The most recent addition to the crossover genre in Dell, which features a young guy talking about wanting a Dell computer. Burt Reynolds suddenly interrupts him, telling us he can't hear him because he isn't famous. Then Burt goes on the suggest using Dell's star power to convince people to buy you a Dell (Chuck Liddell as the "Hard Sell" and Brooke Burke as the "Soft Sell"). I like this commercial for several reasons - first it is amusing. Second, it isn't actually selling Dell; it assumes you already want one and so it is just telling you how to get someone to buy it for you. I think this assumption of desire serves well to subconciously plant the idea in people's heads that they want a Dell. And thirdly, who doesn't love a chance to see Burt Reynolds? (man, it's hard to type sarcastically)

Sissy Boy Truck

They have brought back the Toyota Tacoma commercial which shows two guys eating in their car and one of them places a drink on the dash, whereby the driver puts a coaster underneath it. The intended message is that the tacoma is more luxurious inside than your average truck. The message delivered is quite different, however. First, by placing the drink on the dash, it seems as though the truck doesn't have cup holders - a feature found on pretty much every vehicle, and one that most people enjoy and would be sorry to lose. Not a good selling point (and false since according to one discussion I found there are 9 cupholders in the tacoma). Second, the finicky owner sends a message that only sissy boys who worry about water rings drive this truck. Probably a worse selling point. Thirdly, the guys are sitting in a driveway eating - why don't they just go in the house? Not really a selling point at all, but stupid nonetheless.

Holi-Dumb

The Hyundai Holi-Duh sales even has to be one of the stupidest ideas ever. Are you calling us stupid for not buying your cars? Great way to get me to buy one. And who came up with this cast of characters 'duhhing' their way trough the Christmas classics? The guy whose sideburns are clearly drawn on? Crazy wide eyes? And of course, my favorite - the old man who is at least one hundred and twelve and who can't even lip synch the duhs with everyone else. These commercials get a big Duh from me but not in the way they are hoping. More in a "oh they got cancelled? DUH!" way.

Rise and Shop

Well, it's here: the biggest shopping day of the year. When all of the stores open early for special sales, and legions of idiots line up to buy things that have been available for weeks and will still be available for weeks to come. Many of the stores have been advertising that they will open at 6 am, but two stores (Kohl's and JC Penney) have decided to get a jump on things by opening even earlier, at 4 am!!! Who seriously needs to buy Christmas presents so badly today that they are going to get up and go shopping at 4 am? Insane. If I was in charge of teh stores I would run a "sale" at that time and mark everything up by 15%. If people are so stupid as to get up that early than I want to take advantage of their sleep deprivation and limited reasoning skills to rip them off. They deserve it. As for me - I think I'll take advantage of the wonders of the internet to do all my shopping online where I never have to deal with lines or crowds or parking, and the stores are open 24 hours a day.

The Signs of Stupid

I recently heard a commercial on the radio that had a character continuing to work despite having his hair on fire. It stated “you wouldn’t ignore this, why ignore the signs of a stroke?” I don't know, maybe because the signs of a stroke are just a wee bit subtler? I mean, I get it, strokes are very serious and shouldn’t be ignored, but this is a stupid way of framing it. Tell us the signs of stroke are just as important as having your head a flame – don’t just assume we know that. Other wise the comparison of numbness and slurred speech to a burning coif seems a little exaggerated.

Interesting Article on the Writers' Strike

Pepto Abysmal

I am not thrilled with the Pepto Bismol commercials lately. The theme song they have used for a few years was tolerable – it was certainly a catchy way to discuss a distasteful subject. But now they have started airing commercials of “auditions,” featuring less than talented performers. I’m not really interested in hearing people who can’t carry a tune, and in many cases barely speak English, sing about intestinal maladies. Maybe they’re just trying to make us sick so we’ll buy more Pepto.

Snickers really satisfies

I am enjoying the new Snickers campaign which features randomly dressed characters (pilgrim, Viking) and their disproportionate reactions to Snickers bars: “sound a feasting horn!” I don’t know exactly what the message is here, but I enjoy the spots nonetheless. Starburst has some similarly odd commercials – my favorite being the man who, inexplicably dressed in velvet short pants with matching jacket and ruffled shirt, does a little dance and sings about how much he loves berries and cream. Crazy people like their candy.

Nature loves a sing along

I like the new Jeep Liberty commercial where the guy is driving along and various animals leap into the car and begin singing along to the radio(see it here). It would be stupid or a little too precious, except for the addition of the wolf leaping into the sunroof and eating one of the birds. The driver’s look of disbelief is great. He doesn’t look upset about the apparent death of the bird – more puzzled that the wolf would mess with the back up singing. Very funny.

Dominos Double take

The commercial for Dominos new crispy melt pizza bears some close attention. The dialogue is discussing how the pizza is one thing and then another, and as the camera switches from the delivery boy to the customer, each character changes actors. A clever and subtle way to enforce the message.

Classic movie silliness

There is a promo for a segment on our local news this week featuring a scene from an old silent movie (or a facsimile of an old silent movie) where the villain ties the girl to the train tracks and it has me wondering: what is up with that? This is such a standard image and I never really thought about it before, but what does the villain hope to accomplish by tying up the heroine? Is he stalling the hero so he can commit crimes while the hero is busy freeing the girl? This seems unlikely since the villain is usually driving the train, so is he just sadistic and wants to see girls squashed? Seems like an awful lot of trouble, especially since the fact he has to walk or ride his horse all the way back to get his private train that he then drives towards the girl always seems to take so much time the hero can of course rescue her. I guess it didn’t matter back then because movies were so fascinating people would watch anything (seriously – I have seen what is basically home footage from the early 1900’s of a baby eating that lasts over an hour. wheee). Still, it’s a pretty weird plot element.

Master Card Priceless

Here’s a commercial for MasterCard that I think needs to get made:
Prenatal care: $1250
Ultrasound: $530
Hospital Stay: $8000
Meeting Your Son: priceless

Or with a little humor -
Prenatal vitamins:$6
Prenatal yoga tapes: $20
Lamaze coach: $50
Epidural - priceless

Freaky Fruits

I can't quite decide if I like or loathe the Fruit of the Loom commercials. The idea of the guys in fruit suits being rock stars or whatever is kind of funny, but some of the commercials are really weird. For example, what is up with the commercial where they are in concert and Grape's cell phone rings? The lyrics to the song are amusing enough so I don't understand why that was thrown in. Maybe they couldn't figure out how to end the song, or else there is a whole backstory there we aren't getting. The other one I don't get is the one where they are all sitting around reading fan letters, and somebody sends Apple (the clear fan favorite) an apple pie. Does this strike anyone else as odd? I for one don't understand why the apple would want to eat an apple pie. Creepy.

Obvious Insight

I am not enjoying the current commercials for Match.com for several reasons. First, they are stupid. Second, they are annoying. The random people doing random things does not spark my interest and in fact makes me think that if those are the losers I might meet on the website then I'll stay as far away as possible, thank you very much. But the most annoying thing is the advertising of "insights by Dr. Phil." Now, I'm not a Dr. Phil fan by any means, but I can't fault him for making millions just for telling people things they already know. Come on though - let's not call it insight, people. If someone walks past me and trips, and I point and say "you tripped," I'm not being insightful, I'm just being observative. If someone comes to me and complains that they only date losers and I tell them to meet better people without offering any advice on how to do it, then not only am I not being insightful, I'm also kind of a jerk. But hey, if the dingbats out there are buying, so be it. Where do I get in line to sell?

Orville Redencreepy

I am so glad that Redenbacher popcorn has stopped running the uber-creepy commercials that featured a CG version of founder Orville Redenbacher. What were they thnking? I mean really, the guy is dead - get a new (alive) family member, or change tactics althogether. I'm not sure I have ever seen anything so icky as those commercials, and clearly the advertisers agreed since they pulled the campaign in favor of old commercials featuring the real man. I think this campaign ranks up there with the all time bad advertising decisions - the winner of which is M&M's refusal to allow Steven Spielberg to use their product in E.T. Sure worked out nicely for Reese's pieces, but I bet whoever made that decision got fired.

Writer's Block

The strike is on in Hollywood and there are no writers for tv, movies, whatnot. While it is hard to sympathize with anyone in Hollywood since they all seem to be billionaires, the producers offer of small percentages because the current revenues are small is asinine. A percentage is a percentage right? If the takes are small the payout is small and if they are large... Anyway, I better get to work on my screen play.

God Save the King

Always a fan of Burger King, I have enjoyed their wonderfully bizarre mascot in their commercials. Especially the one for their breakfast sandwiches where a guy opens his window shade and The King is standing there smiling and hands him a sandwich. So odd and slightly creepy yet funny. The new campaign with the housewives trying to knock him off is good too. Not necesarily the one where they try to hire a hitman, but the one where they try to run him down with a minivan is pretty silly.

Forget This

I really hate the current commercial for Lowes’ that features a woman who is apparently deranged or a total moron, pantomiming all of the Christmas items she needs. It is offensive to people who actually suffer from memory issues (and stupid people), and annoying to everyone else. I also really hate the Little Caesar’s commercial where the woman gets out of the car and grills the poor guy standing on the street that the special price is good everyday (Monday? Yes. Tuesday? Yes. Chinese New Year? Yes. Etc). I’m not sure what bothers me more – that she won’t just accept it and get back in her car or the fact that the guy just keeps answering and never just slaps her. That’s what I would have to do, which explains why I’m no longer in customer service.

amendment to inexplicable, incomprehensible, inexcusable

I posted that the small writing in the meningitis commercial said 21 in 100,000 kids wold get the disease. I've seen it again and there is a decimal point - so it is actually 2.1 in 100,000. Even less likely makes the commercial even more offensive.

Toss me an explanation

There is a new commercial for Suzuki advertising that their cars have the #1 warranty. It features people driving around in Suzuki cars and throwing a set of keys to each other. There are several things that confuse me about this: first, the people are already driving around, what do they need keys for? The people playing are actually all passengers, so maybe they need keys so they don’t have to bum rides from whoever is driving, but still, they clearly aren’t hurting for transportation. Secondly, what does any of this have to do with the warranties? Nonsense is irritating.

Not Just Phoning it in

I really enjoy the Cingular commercials featuring dropped calls. My favorites are the one with the mother telling her daughter not to make the same mistake she did by getting married in Vegas, the one with the guy calling a girl after a first date: his expression when he realizes he has just said he wouldn't kiss his sister is great, and of course, the one with the butcher who asks if the meat supplier's wife has eaten all of the roast beef. He just keeps digging himself deeper in that one.
I also like the commercials for Comcast Digital Voice which feature people making phone calls hoping for different responses now that they are on Comcast Digital Voice. The best one of these features a man with full body striped tattoos calling the tatto artist who can be heard saying (with fabulous Asian accent) "I tell you tattoo permanent. You human tiger now!" Awesome

A sweeping good time

An old commercial has recently been airing again for the Dirt Devil broomvac. This commercial features several people at a dinner or cocktail party in someone’s house, and one of the guests spills something. The host immediately gets out enough broomvacs for everyone, and they all begin to sweep while performing a synchronized dance. Now I suppose this could be a gathering of Stomp members and they might believably dance together even in their off time, but seriously, who has that many broomvacs? I don’t want to go to parties if I have to clean the host’s house – that’s the whole point of visiting someone else’s house instead of having the party at my house!

Feel Free to 'Meet The Robinsons'

Last night we rented Meet the Robinsons, and it is one of the best movies I've seen in a while. The first half is hysterically funny - completely random comments, occurances and characters keep popping up. Obviuosly the second half has more to do with resolving the plot and imparting the message, and it is a kids movie so the ending isn't a surprise, but it is still enjoyable and totally worth it for the off hand dialogue thrown in. The writiers might have been on drugs, but this is one case where randomness works - it is quirky and funny and it all meshes well rather than just being weird for the sake of being wierd. I think this may be a movie that parents like more than the kids, who may not fully appreciate the wonderfuly bizarre.

An Eat Free Card?

there is a new commercial for Progresso soups advertising several of their soups as being worth 0 points on the Weight Watchers system. Now, admittedly I don't know exactly how the system works, but I think you get a certain numbre of points per day that you can eat and you can 'spend' them however you want. I would assume that the points relate to calories as well as fat or sugar content. Now, what I don't understand is how anything besides ice can have 0 points. This soup has 60 calories per serving, which is great, but still a caloric intake. So how is that worth zero? I don't think people out there are going to be sitting around eating 10 cans of soup (1200 calories - a full days worth) and then thinking 'hey, I can still eat that cake and not go over my points' and ignoring the fact that they have now ingested 2500 calories that day, but still - I don't get how it can be worth nothing.

Eragon; error full

Last night Eragon was on TV and I was reminded of just how disappointing the movie was. I had really looked forward to seeing it when it came out, having loved the book as well as its sequel. Anyway, my husband and I used up one of our rare nights out to go see it in the theater, and man, was that a waste. Not that the movie itself was that bad (you can't expect much from a first time director and the writer of Jurassic park 3): it's not going to be on the top of anyone's list, but it isn't the worst of all time either (The Black Hole anyone?). The problem is that the movie barely resembles the book at all. Now I am not a purist by anymeans, I fully accept changes from source material when it is necessary for cinematic purposes. Harry Potter and the Lord of the Rings movies are perfect examples of this: nothing was changed that was absolutely necessary. When you have an epic novel obviously certains things need to be cut out or manipulated to make the movie a reasonable length and to draw in new fans. None of the changes in Eragon did this. Instead we had expanded character parts (John Malkovich overacting as Galbatorix, an character only referred to in the book), and a ridiculous ending battle that bear no resemblance to the book (flying smoke demons?). It is such a shame that this movie did such a disservice to the book, its author and the fans - it had the potential to bring to life a wonderful story and introduce new people to the world of Eragon and his dragon (explore it here). Hopefully some day someone with good intentions and actual directing (and screen writing) abilities will make the movie the book deserves.

3 pm slump

Robert Goulet has passed away, and now office workers everywhere can rest assured that he won't be coming to mess with their desks if they get drowsy in the afternoon without eating their Emerald Nuts.

Asleep at the wheel

I have noticed another delightful warning mentioned on Lunesta commercials. They suggest that you call your doctor if you walk, eat or DRIVE while sleeping. Awesome - so this sleeping pill really only makes you unconcious while your body goes around doing other stuff like driving to the store and cramming cake in your face. I enough trouble not eating when I am awake, I certainly dont want to have to worry about doing it in my sleep too. And driving is dangerous enough with just the drunks and idiots out there, but now we have to watch out for sleep-drivers? Nothing like waking up after a good night's Lunesta induced coma to find out you've driven across state lines and gained twenty pounds.

30 Days of Night

My husband and I got a rare night out this weekend and we went to see 30 Days of Night, and I guess I was pleasantly surprised. I didn't expect much, and this certainly isn't in the running for greatest movie ever, but it wasn't horrible. The gore was less than I expected - mostly just blood on the snow and vampires faces and long shots of people being eaten. There was one very gruesome shot that was included towards the end and actually felt uneccesary. I figure it was added to compete with the Saw franchise. Personally, I feel they could have edited the movie only a little differently and have created more suspense and an overall scarier movie, but it was okay the way it was. There were of course the usual characters who act stupidly, but the ending was unexpected, at least to me. I don't know if I recommend it, but if you want to see a scary movie that isn't torture porn, this is an okay option.

Gentleman Author

As a fan of fantasy fiction (R.I.P. Robert Jordan) I am always interested in new authors and new series that I can get into so the waiting for new books in series I already follow doesn't seem so long. I have recently discovered the writing of Scott Lynch and think he deserves a mention here. He has written two books so far and both are excellent adventures with very creative concepts and charming characters. The first book, The Lies of Locke Lamora , introduces the main characters who are a group of con men theives who call themselves the Gentlemen Bastards. That name alone is what inspired me to read this book, and the excellent writing is what compelled me to race through it in two days despite having kids to take care of. The second book, Red Seas Under Red Skies continues the saga and leaves room for more books to follow. I wish Scott all the best creativity and speed in completing the next book in the series - I eagerly await reading it.

Inexplicable, Incomprehensible, Inexcusable

there are no shortage of stupid or offensive commercials out there, but here are three I think fall in the categories of inexplicable, incomprehensible or inexcusable

I have just seen a new commercial for Herbal Essences shampoo that features a girl riding a camel through the desert (the camel is wearing sneakers for some reason), and she comes across an oasis, where a man riding a giant seahorse pops up and hands her a bottle of shampoo. Seriously bizarre - can you picture the pitch meeting for this? Oh, it's going to be in the desert with a camel and a seahorse? Fabulous! Nothing sells more shampoo than camels and seahorses!


Secondly, what is with the Levi’s commercial (view here) where the guy pulls up his pants and the phone booth comes shooting up through the floor? I can’t even think of what they could possibly be trying to say with that – put your pants on and find yourself out on the street? Not a selling point in my opinion. What if you don’t have your wallet? Or your keys? Basically just a stupid commercial that has nothing to do with selling pants. The effects are neat, but if you want to sell jeans you need shots of attractive people with cute butts, not special effects. (There have been many blogs about this commercial both pro and con, but most seem to be discussing the fact that there are straight and gay versions of the ad. Whoopdeedo, it's still stupid either way.)


My current least favorite commercial uses the popular medium of television to spread the word on the dangers of meningococcal meningitis. According to the commercial our teenagers are drastically at risk for catching this disease from kissing, sharing sodas and even being in close contact. Now, this is a serious disease and I don't have a problem with giving it some attention. My problem comes from the tone the commerical takes, which is that the disease is lurking around every corner and you should be constantly vigilant against infection. Maybe we should all stay locked in our homes so we don't ever catch anything from anyone. I mean, maybe I should consider homeschooling my children when they are the right age so they don't associate with all of these teenagers running around infected with meningitis. By the way, the small type in the commercial says that only 21 in 100,000 adolescents actually contract meningitis each year.

Do It Yourself

I like the current campaign advocating healthy living that features people finding discarded love handles and thunder thighs lying about after people have lost them (http://www.adcouncil.org/default.aspx?id=54). However one particular commercial in this series bugs me: a couple in a grocery store find a double chin lying on the floor. After picking it up and studying it for a minute, they put it back on the floor and walk away complaining “someone’s going to trip on that.” Well, you just picked it up, why don’t you move it lazy? I hate the current attitude shared by so many people that it isn’t their responsibility to fix anything. They just walk around complaining that someone should fix the problem, but never bother to do anything themselves. There was actually a commercial some time back that addressed this issue. It featured a bunch of girls in a dorm bathroom staring at a running faucet. They were all commenting on what a waste it was and how something should be done when another girl walked up and turned the faucet off. Everyone else was dumbstruck. I thought this was an effective way to get the point across that if you see something that needs fixing there is no better time and no better person to fix it than you. Complaining never solves the problem. Too bad the couple in the grocery store missed it

Possible Side Effects

I love all of the drug commercials statements of possible side effects – especially ones that include coma or death which to me aren’t really side effects but more like permanent failures of the medicine. Side effects I can live with, they might make life a little less pleasant but they are tolerable – death not so much. I also like that the sleep aid Lunesta lists drowsiness as a side effect. Isn’t that the main effect? Don’t you expect a sleeping pill to make you drowsy? I also enjoy the side effects for all the drugs marketed for restless leg syndrome. Along with all the usual suspects they include increased gambling or sexual urges. So you can sit still finally, but you’re going to do it at a poker table where you’ll risk losing your 401k. Awesome. Personally I think people with restless leg syndrome just need to stop drinking triple shot espressos all day, but no one is lining up to give me a medical degree so what do I know.

Animating Science

I like how advertising companies try to fool the idiots watching by animating their commercials and trying to pass it off as a valid example of how their product works. A commerical for Scrubbing Bubbles: “Watch the science as the scrubbing bubbles clean away deep stains in minutes.” This of course is accompanied by animated scrubby bubbly brushes flying around a bathroom cleaning sinks and toilets. Cute, yes, science, no. My vote would be to keep the flying animated mascots and lose the voice over claim to science. Or else actually make your product clean the bathroom alone; that I would buy.
For that matter, it seems like any commercial for pain medication has a similar issue. Watch how fast the pain is relieved in our little drawing! Sorry, but how fast you can make little wavy red lines disappear from a cartoon’s head, back, stomach, etc is in now way related to how fast the actual medicine works.
I do however, enjoy the Nasonex bumble bee. He in no way makes me want to try the medicine, which I don't need anyway, but I like his accent and find the incongruity of a bee selling allergy medication amusing. People who are allergic to bees don’t get runny noses and watery eyes very often – shouldn’t he be selling epi pens?

Faith in Medicine

I noticed recently on a commercial for a new drug Veramyst (don’t remember what it is for –asthma maybe?) that in small letters at the bottom of the screen it says “the way Veramyst works is not totally understood.” Excuse me? First of all, how does a drug get FDA approval if we don’t know how it works? Secondly, do they really expect people to take a medicine that isn’t fully understood by their doctor? Not that any doctor is going to admit that of course, but geez. Might as well just call it magic or the will of God. Hey there’s an idea – market it solely to Christians and say it works through Jesus’ love.

I Win?

While I enjoy the images involved (especially the somewhat chubby people riding horses), the current EBay campaign – shop victoriously – has me asking why we are so excited by paying the most. Doesn’t that just make us the biggest sucker? As an avid ebayer myself I understand the compulsion to win an auction – it is so easy to get drawn in to the bidding that you almost impulsively keep raising your price in hopes of winning. For most people this is probably more satisfying than actually purchasing the item in question. And the sense of loss when something slips away can be just as strong. I have found myself searching for new auctions of similar items after bidding on something I never actually planned on buying has ended – especially if the price was really low. Which is the appeal of EBay – that you can get great stuff for a good price. Of course, this doesn’t explain why there are so many auctions out there with people buying items for higher prices than retail. Are those people just stupid, or have they gotten caught in the thrall of “shopping victoriously?”

intro

Okay – I’ll be the first to admit it, I watch way too much television. I could give lots of excuses: I have two kids, (19 months and 1 month) and while I love playing with them, holding hands while my daughter jumps on the couch is a lot less boring when I can watch Project Runway also. Or how about: I absolutely love reading but it’s pretty hard when you are feeding one baby while simultaneously trying to chase the other around the dining room table. Another good one: I’d love to go to the park everyday but its cold and snowy out there (this one doesn’t work as well in July). But the honest truth is I am solidly addicted to the television. From 8am Buffy reruns to the 10 pm version of Law and Order, I pretty much have the idiot box on all day. Which means that I get a chance to see a lot of commercials, a lot of times. And I can’t help wondering why people get paid for some of this crap. I mean obviously most commercials are stupid are annoying or boring or just plain forgettable. And some are truly inspired and funny and I actually enjoy watching them over and over again. The current careerbuilder.com campaign where office workers are surviving in the jungle: brilliant. The ones I will probably comment most on are the ones that fall just shy of the mark – they have smart or clever premises, but their execution is lacking. Unfortunately it is all too indicative of most people’s current attitudes towards their work, and it is a shame that whoever created the initial idea wasn’t committed enough to see it through to completion accurately.

The prime example of this is a commercial that ran several years back for the Nissan Sentra (www.NissanUSA.com/Sentra). This ad featured two crash test dummies fighting over getting into the car with the tagline “everybody wants to drive it.” Clever, it caught your attention, there was only one glaring problem. The dummies were fighting over the passenger side door. Maybe the crash test dummies were British, maybe it was a sly allusion to the fact that they just can’t afford the premiums on their insurance anymore after the number of wrecks they typically get into so they had to be passengers. What it said to me was “no one wants to drive it.” Whoops – probably not the message intended. But I bet it was awesome in England.