Bulb-O-Rama

I don't usually like the ads where exceedingly stupid customers are helped by unbelievably patient and smiley sales people. The perfect example of this is an ad I have commented on before that has run the past two years, and which I hope will not be seen again. It's just not realistic. I mean, the stupid shoppers are a given, but sales people are never that chipper, and definitely not during the holidays when there are lines out the door. I am also not particularly fond of the whole super-over-decorating the outside of your house thing- it's not funny and it's definitely not cool. However, I have found an exception to these "rules", in a new ad for Ace Hardware, where a guy tells the sales girl santa that he wants his house to be a "bulb-o-rama" so that the astronauts in space look down and say "what's that? Oh, that's Bob's house." I find his gooberish enthusiasm appealing for some reason, and I find that this ad doesn't annoy me like most of the others do. I also really like the phrase bulbo-o-rama, and wish I had more reason to use it cause it's fun to say. As for the rest of this genre - how's about we see some ads where the stupid customers are helped by increasingly impatient salespeople who have better things to do than hand hold idiots. That would be more in keeping with the holiday shopping season.

Ahhhh, The Obvious

The other day, driving down the street, I saw a truck with this clever slogan: "if it's in stock, we have it." Well, yeah, I would hope so - that's the basic principle of inventory, isn't it? I like that it makes it sound like they have all kinds of stuff - anything you could need really), when in actuality their shelves might be totally bare without negating their motto. Now of course, if they chose this slogan without thinking of that aspect then it's just lame - might as well say "if the door is unlocked, we're open."

The Apocalypse Must Be Nigh

Rosie O'Donnell has been given yet another show. And what's worse, she has been allowed to "sing" in her commercials, and swan around like she is not only attractive, but entertaining in some way. I cannot quite figure out why anyone thinks that lobotomized mental patients are a big enough market to warrant a show targeted directly to them (because, seriously, who else could stand her?), but I am quite sure that this signals the end of days is approaching. If television weren't like crack for me I would start a boycott. As it is I am less interested in continuing with all of my NBC shows because even though I watch them on DVR and speed through the ads, I still occasionally get a flash of her mug. But at least I don't have to hear that warbling.

This Is A Test, This Is Only A Test - To See How Dumb You Are

I have mentioned this topic before, but I feel it needs to be revisited due to a new development in its annoyance. As you may know, in February all television broadcasts are switching to digital - making antenna reception no longer viable without special converters. We will ignore the fact that these products are being developed for completely outmoded technology in the first place, and instead focus on the fact that instead of just airing commercials about the subject whoever is "in charge" of this is now interrupting shows themselves. Ostensibly these interruptions are presented as "tests", but they seem more like sensationalism trying to panic people into calling the informational hotlines and getting the converter boxes. They don't even have the courtesy to use that message you get before emergency broadcast tests - you know, the one that ends" we now return to our regularly scheduled programming." They just completely switched from the middle of one scene and then just as abruptly returned to the middle of another. This is extremely irritating - I could be missing crucial lines of dialogue just so the few people left with antenna reception (seriously, how many can there be?) can get some information they have been exposed to for months. Does the vewing public really need to suffer just in case some people are too stupid to have paid attention to the thousands of ads that have already run? And if they haven't noticed those, do you really think they are carefully watching the special tests now? Or do you think maybe they're using the time to run into the kitchen for more Cheetos?

ps: I also really like the ads run by Comcast letting their customers know that they don't have to do anything because their service will continue uninterrupted. Duh - how stupid do you have to be to NOT know you DON'T have a tv antenna? I seriously hope those people don't have drivers licenses.

Tuesday Night Fever

What is with Tuesdays this year? It seems like practically every show I want to watch is on Tuesday nights - which is an issue since my DVR only tapes 2 shows at once, and you can't watch a third channel while it is doing so. The problem comes when there are two shows taping at 7pm, when the kids are still awake, because we can't watch their programs. Fortunately you can watch previously taped shows (or DVDs of course), but it still doesn't answer the question of why everyone put the good stuff on Tuesday night. Why not spread it out a little? Obviuosly, if everything appeals to me then there are some common threads to these shows - woudn't it be nicer if they aired all throughout the week? I could of course pace myself watching them over several days instead of cramming all day Wednesday, but that would be like only eating one cookie or something, and we all know that's a statistical impossibility.

Dude, That's A Girl Car

The new Chevy Traverse is clearly a chick car. It looks like a totally normal crossover vehicle, but I have never seen such a specifically targeted ad campaign before, so it must be for women only. In case you haven't seen the commercial, it features a woman in the car stopping on the street because it is raining shoes. She quite understandably gets out of the car to gather up as many as she can, and utilizes the storage space in her Traverse to hold as many shoes as possible. Not exactly a man friendly spot. nor is it especially the most effective either, since every time I see it I think it is an ad for DSW Shoe Warehouse rather than for a car. It also assaults my sense of logic, because while I would totally be grabbing shoes with abandon if they started raining from the sky I would A) wait for them to stop falling in order to avaoid being clonked on the head by an especially heavy wedge or impaled on a stiletto, and B) make sure I was getting pairs of shoes. Imagine how frustrating it would be to get home and find your whole treasure trunk of shoes contained only lefts. Anyway, with the female focus of this advertising, I'm left to wonder why the Traverse is so specifically for women, as well as why, if intended solely for us girls, they didn't give it a girlier name. Like maybe, the Chevy Epicene.