Light As Air

I just saw a new commercial for Wheat Thins where people are floating in a wheat field while Frankie sings "come fly with me." I don't know if this makes me want crackers, but it sure does make me want a trampoline!

Charge It Or Bend Over

Yesterday I saw a commercial for American Express Business Gold Card. In it a man attempts to purchase a ticket to San Francisco using a credit card with kittens on it. The ticket agent finds this either suspicious or pathetic (her acting doesn't make it clear) but judging by the fact that she calls security on him, I'm going to go with suspicious. Pathetic would make better sense. I mena, no, it really doesn't present the best professional appearance to be using a credit card with kittens on it (it isn't very manly either but who cares?), but frankly, I doubt you are going to be showing potential clients your credit card very often. As long as you keep it discretely tucked away in teh even of any business lunches you are probably safe in your feline adoration. The American Express Business Gold Card might be great for your small business, but I don't think not having it warrants a body cavity search.

I Think You Think You Are Special

I have to comment on the new ad for the Burger King Steakhouse burger. In it two men are eating the burger and a woman comes up to ask what they did to deserve it. The first gave half of his salary to charity, but the second replies that he was just hungry. So she wallops him. This is very stupid but I laugh every time it comes on. I'm not sure if it is the slap itself or just the incredibly awkward way she performs it that is funny to me but it gets me every time. Plus, such outrage over the "arrogance" of just eating a hamburger is so silly. As is the tagline - "so good people might think you think you're special." Just pay attention to the slaps - especially the second one to the back of the head - seriously the least elegant attack ever.

Fly The Exorbitant Skies

Apparently airlines (led by United) are planning to require minimum stays for any flights being purchased. This is bull. Have they forgotten that they are modes of transportation and not hotels? that is like a taxi driver refusing to pick you up until you have spent three hours at the party. Does it not occur to them that regardless of when, people who fly somewhere pretty much always need to go back at some point? I don't see how this solves the fuel issue at all. I mean, if I go to Chicago, I still need to come home whether it is the next day or the next week, and I'm thinking that me staying over for more days doesn't change the amount of gas used in hauling my butt back home. And the disadvantage to business travelers is completely ridiculous. Does a salesman deserve to miss out on time with his family just because his job requires travel and the asshat airlines are demanding he stays in Toledo over the weekend? If I worked at any sort of company where travel was involved I would immediately start implementing any changes possible (telecommunications for example) that would reduce if not eliminate all travel just to say "suck it" to the airlines. Oh yeah, and now they can charge you extra to check your bags, which you will have to do since you now need enough clothing for a three day stay. I get it, gas prices are going up. Just admit it and raise ticket prices - sneaking in all of these extra charges and inconvenient requirements just seems dishonest. Like they are trying to trick passengers with deceptively low rates and then planning on fleecing them later with all the extra fees. If they aren't going to respect my right to travel on my own time frame then they don't deserve my money. Good thing we can't afford a vacation - cause I have no interest in flying with any of these money grubbers anymore.

SYTYCD Redeems Itself

Huzzah, hurray, and hallelujah! The talentless, inexplicable, sucktastic, you-say-salsa-dancer I-say-stripper is gone! For a while there I really thought that she had someone from the Cuban mafia or whatever they call it kidnap one of Nigel's family members in order to guarantee herself a spot on the show. Cause she blew. Never once in auditions or the two weeks of the show so far has she done anything I couldn't do myself (well, I can't really shake my chest around like she did in her solo last night, but that is only because I don't want to dislocate any ribs). And let me tell you, regardless of how many years of dance training I may have had, no 30-year-old mother of two should be able to keep up with the kids on that show. But nevermind that now, the situation has been remedied and the world can resume spinning on its rightful axis. I can return to watching the beautiful dancing and talented contestants with respect and excitement rather than feeling the need to stab the producers with my fork.

Nintendo x 3 : Decent, Dumb and Tacky

I want to talk about the new commercials for the Nintendo handheld "isn't called a Gameboy anymore but I don't know the new name so I'm calling it a Gameboy" gaming system. In general these ads are fine, but I have a couple of issues. First, I like the one with Liv Tyler. She is playing BrainAge, and I like that since she is basically my age (maybe a year older) and I like to do puzzles and stuff whenever possible to keep my mind agile and hopefully push back my inevitable decline into senility. So that one is good. The one with Carrie Underwood however, has a problem. That game she is "playing" is so ridiculously stupid I can't even stand it. Seriously, she is petting and washing a picture of a dog on her gameboy. And she has a REAL dog sitting with her. What is that about? I like animals and all, but I'm not particularly sure where the appeal is of pretending to wash a digital dog with a stylus on an electronic apparatus. Dumb, and I feel sorry for Carrie that she is stuck with this game. The commercial with America Ferrara has a different issue. Her game is fine - she is playing some version of Super Mario Brothers - my issue is with her gameboy itself. This thing is metallic pink and has her name spelled on it in rhinestones. Cute, right? Well, no. Not particularly if you are twelve, and definitely not if you are 24.

by the way - while all of these ads have varying levels of personal enjoyment for me, none of them makes me want the system. I do however totally want the Wii Fit. Cause if I don't exercise normally, I totally will with an expensive video game console and attachment, right/

Youth Obsessed Culture

I need to admit to a developing addiction to the Disney and ABC Family channels. Obviously it started with programming for my daughter, but I am kind of starting to like some of the shows and I have found myself watching them on my own even if the kids are napping. Wizards of Waverly Place, anyone? Yes, it is stupid and corny - it’s a children’s show - but I still kind of like it. And more than just the shows, I have started taping all of the ridiculous movies (Cadet Kelly, The Circuit) so that I can watch them later. As you might suspect, these are not good movies. I didn’t feel to bad when my fascination was just with shows like Greek and Gossip Girl, because they do appeal to other adults besides me according to ratings articles I have read. But now I have descended into preteen entertainment, maybe even elementary school levels. Pretty soon I am going to be rendered ecstatic by airings of the Wiggles, and not because my daughter loves them. Quick, someone put on something R rated before I am completely into my second childhood!

God Bless The Usa

I would just like to take a moment and express my love for the USA Network. I watch it everday, like vitamins. This wonderful channel has all of my favorites - reruns of House, new shows Monk, Psych and Burn Notice, and the rest of the time it airs episodes of Law and Order (SVU or CI). What's not to like? Okay, so Monday nights blow due to wrestling, but I can watch Bones and House reruns on Fox now, not to mention Greek and Gossip Girl (I am developing a bit of a youth programming habit, to be mentioned later), so it is no longer the travesty it once was. And yes, they air quite a bit more Steven Seagal movies than might be strictly necessary, but I can accept these flaws. In general, USA in my go to network, along with Bravo (also an NBC affiliate), I can count on these channels to always have something on I don't mind watching. Cause God knows I'm not going to turn the tv off.

PS - I love USA the country too. Go America!

SYTYCD- The Top 20

Well, first off I will absolutely admit that most of the top twenty were not expecially showcased in the Vegas episode. So I'm sure they are all very good and deserving of their spots. But without that extra footage of how their auditions went, I have to asy that I was kind of dissapointed with some of the choices -namely some of the people that were rejected. So the top twenty had better be really good because there were some dancers that really impressed me in the initial auditions that didn't make it that I was both surprised and saddened to see go. Oh and I am also amazed the stripper, I mean high school teacher, made it into the top twenty since I wouldn't have even sent her to Vegas. I wasn't aware that "exotic" was an acceptable genre of dance for this competition. Oh well, I will console myself with the thought that someone has to go home first.

SATC

I saw the Sex and The City movie this weekend, and I have to say I really enjoyed it. They didn't push the envelope with the format, and most of the plotlines were just rehashed from the show, but so what? It perfectly captured the mood of the show and brought back that excitement of seeing a new episode for the first time. To be honest I'm not entirely sure what the big deal was about this show - it doesn't seem especially groundbreaking or important, but even without a rational explanation I admit that I got drawn in like everyone else and absolutely love it. Maybe it is just one of those perfect combinations of actors in the absolute right role for them that somehow creates magic - who knows? Whatever the reason, the show was certainly a phenomenon, and judging by the hordes of women waiting outside the theater (even in my small town where fashion isn't in the vernacular and the only shoes people splurge on are for hiking) the movie will be one as well. It is interesting that a movie that is essentially very frivolous can have such a heavy burden of being one of the only movies featuring women of a "certain age" as the stars. And possibly have to be an indicator of whether movies featuring only women can make money. Seems like pretty high expectations for a film that is basically about clothes, shoes and boys. Of course, I can't think of anything I like more than clothes and shoes. And since I won't be buying any $500 Manolos anytime soon, I think I can spend $7.25 (matinee price!) to watch other people wear them and just dream. It's all the glamour without the foot pain.