Stop The Whining And Give Me A Break

So, you know the Allstate commercial where the lady is in the airport complaining that she's at the interesection of her email is overflowing and she hasn't had a day off since third grade? Does anyone else want to slap her? I mean seriously, if you are that busy you are either the worst prioritizer ever(okay not really a word, deal with it), or you need another job. I realize that some jobs are very stressful and people are busy - but if you are that over-scheduled and over-worked you have no one to blame but yourself. And excuse me for saying so, but if you choose to live that type of lifestyle then I don't think you should be complaining about it. Either suck it up and acknowledge that you thrive on stress, or take a vacation already.

As Plain As The Lips On Her Face

So it's been established that when In Plain Sight started Mary McCormack's lips looked wierd. So now I'm wondering if they appear to be normalizing to anyone else. I know that injectible fillers dissipate with time so maybe it's just wearing off. Or maybe I'm just getting used to it. I really hope someone else thinks they look like their deflating because the next step in thinking they look normal is thinking they look good and I do not want to go anywhere near that road.

The Dark Knight

Incase you are in doubt at all about seeing this film - let me reassure you it is awesome. I'm not particularly hard to please as a movie-goer, especially when it comes to actin type movies, so I knew I would like it just fine. It's been getting great reviews, so I figured it would be better than normal. But after seeing it this weekend I think it is phenomenal. There hs been a ton of talk about Heath Ledger getting an Oscar for his portrayal of the Joker - and I basically attributed that to his death. Not that I thought he wouldn't be good (he always is), but superhero movies don't typically get that type of recognition, and I figured he might earn the honor here as a way of making up for all of the truly Oscar worthy rperformances he won't get a chance to give. But having seen it, I have to say that I think there would be buzz even if he hadn't died. It is almost a shame that in his final complete performance he dissappears so completely behind the makeup and the mask. His Joker has none of the humor behind his menace that we have seen before - he is sick and depraved, aiming to sow discord and harvest chaos, but you can see that while he accepts his role he doesn't cherish it. His motivation is not the pain of others for personal pleasure, but just pain itself. In this he is more the yin to Batman's yang than ever before. Both are solitary figures, doomed to suffer their roles in society even as they accept they are the only ones to fulfill them. When the Joker tells Batman he can't kill him because he is too much fun, he doesn't say it with the joy we have seen in previous performances - he says it because there is no other way to express that anarchy without opposition means no sacrifice. This is definitely the darkest episode in the Batman franchise - and possibly the best yet. Oh, and the toys are super cool too.

Hard Core Stupid

Picture this - a woman crashes her car through the wall of the bathroom, gets out, and proceeds to clean the tub and tile. The tagline is: "Tilex - hard core clean." Now, please explain to me what the hell any of this means. Tilex does such a great job cleaning your bathroom that you don't care if you destroy it with your car? Tilex turns you into a demolition derby driver with a penchant for clean grout? The fumes affect your ability to operate heavy machinery? I don't get it, and I doubt I'm getting any Tilex anytime soon.

Space Monkeys

I have decided that the new movie Space Chimps should be called Space Monkeys. Yes, I know chimps are apes and not monkeys, but the title has a better ring to it. And yes, I also know this is a stupid issue, but it actually really bugs me every time I see an ad for the film. Of course, it doesn't help that it looks terrible.

Project Runway Season 5

Like many people out there I am excited that Project Runway is back, and I hope that this season will be better than ever. But oh my god, there are some really irritating contestants this time. I don't remember ever watching the first episode of a season ans violently disliking anyone - usually it takes several episodes before you realize who is a jerk. But not this season - I actually wanted to slap several people. First there was Stella, who hopefully will not be with us long as she has the wonderful distinction of being the first contestant ever to make something I could have made myself. And that is not a compliment. There is a reason I'm not on this show. Second was Suede, who in addition to having the lamest made up name ever, insisted on referring to himself by it. Doesn't he know that no one likes the guy who refers to himself in the third person? And then there is Blayne. I hated him the moment he appeared on screen - I wanted to run him down with my car from the beginning and he didn't even speak for practically the first half of the show. And then he did. And it made things worse. Seriously, calling your design "girlicious" is not only annoying, it is also confusing and pointless, and when you do it a thousand times, you are stressing your idiocy as well as begging someone to kill you. And the design sucked. So hopefully his irritating, over tanned, bad hair will be the next loser "auf'd". Because I really don't want to have to gauge my eyes out to spare myself the sight of him.

Sleeping With The Family Channel

Last night, at 7pm, the ABC Family Channel aired Sleeping With The Enemy. That's right, the movie where Julia Roberts fakes her death to get away from her abusive husband, and then kills him when he tracks her down. Chipper, family friendly film, don't you agree? Not at all inappropriate for their target demographic.

SYTYCD - Shame On You America

Well, America, you deserve a big fat D- for your voting this week. I get it - Comfort is a sentimental favorite seeing as she was already kicked off the show - but guess what? There is a reason for that: she is woefully out of her depth here. She has performed very admirably on the show and seems like a nice girl, but this show is about versatility and she just can't cut it. And I know that most of you are not really versed enough in dance to know what is truly great from what is just okay, but seriously you should be able to tell that she just isn't very good. Personally, I may need to be committed to an asylum if I have to look at her sickled feet any more. Of course, I also sort of find her boring even when she is performing in her strength, but that's just a personal opinion. She has done a great job of trying each genre without any formal training, and definitely deserved to be in the top twenty - but the top ten is another story. She has overstayed the limits of her talent, and I hope you get your sense back in time for voting next week. I'll be doing my best to vote for everyone else in case you make such a grievous error again. Which I meant to do this week, anticipating this outcome, but forgot. Sorry Kherrington, you were my favorite.

Logic Is Not On The Menu

I have commented on the stupidity of Wendy's commercials before. Well, there is a new one bugging me. In it, 'Wendy' asks: "If warm chicken is good, and cold, crunchy veggies are good, then wouldn't a warm chicken, cold crunchy veggie salad be good good?" Well, I'll tell you Wendy, the answer is no. Because when you put warm chicken on cold crunchy veggies, you get warm soggy veggies, and they most definitely are not good. I don't know who is running their current ad campaign, but they are clearly trying to sound smart and logical without possessing an ounce of common sense.

Repetition Makes Irritation

Saab has a new commercial that repeats the same phrase about recycling energy from the exhaust three times. Saab has a new commercial that repeats the same phrase about recycling energy from the exhaust three times. Saab has a new commercial that repeats the same phrase about recycling energy from the exhaust three times. Annoying, isn' it?

Return This

There are many companies online that offer free returns on any purchases. However, they are taking steps to make this less convenient than it has been in the past. I am a big time online shopper, and I remember getting return labels included in the packaging whenever I received a purchase. this made it very easy to just reseal the box, affix the label and return my merchandise. Now, however, the trend seems to be to have customers print their own labels. The returns are still free - you just tattach the label and drop of your package at the Post Office or UPS, but I find the extra step of having to print a label super annoying. Not everyone has a printer, you know? Now if I want to return something I have to get my husband to print the label at work and bring it home - pretty inconvenient if I don't want him to know I bought anything in teh firs tplace (haha). Some places will mail you a label if you don't have a printer, meaning you have to wait a week or so to get your label so you can return those shoes that don't fit. Irritating. It really makes me not want to go through the hassle of returning anything, which I'm sure is their point, but in the end all it will result in is me shopping there less.

Everywhere and In Plain Sight

So In Plain Sight seems alright - I haven't seen an entire episode yet, but the bits of several I've seen seem like it's a decent show. Aside from Mary McCormack's face which has had some definite, non- improving, work done to it. Howver, does it seem to anyone else like they are sort of heavily populating Albuquerque with witness protection participators? I mean, it seems like every fifth person in town is in the program. I understand that they want to keep the main characters in one place so they can throw in personal stories with mary's family and what not (the most boring parts, by the way), but this show would seriously benefit from changing the scenery in each episode so it doesn't seem like the only place people get relocated to is New Mexico. The State's tourism department might also appreciate less inference that their capital is populated with former rats and theives.