They Work With Hair, Not Brain Cells

I'm going to talk about an ad for Bosley Hair replacement. i know I know, easy mark right? But I'm not going to mention how lame their spots are because they always have been that way. Nor am I going to comment on hearoing once again how it is your real hair and you can swim in it. Wheeee. And I won't bore you with speculation on how stupid their clients are, because we all know guys who go bald and jsut accept it and move on with their lives are infinitely more attractive than the losers who refuse to acknowledge reality. No, what I wan't to mention is this quote from their ad: "Bosley is the world's leading hair restoration experts." Well, they may be experts in hair restoration, but they are clearly not grammar experts. So I'll give 'em a tip - you can't be Bosley singular if you are going to be experts plural.

And Now, A Word About Sponsors

I have determined why I love the Disney Channel so much. Occassionally my daughter decides that she wants to watch cartoons - which basically means anything animated that she doesn't already know the name of, i.e. Tigger and Pooh, which we watch everyday, is not a cartoon, but SpongeBob, which I can't stand, is. I blame my husband for this because while I never give them a choice and just automatically put on Disney (meaning they wouldn't even know there was other crap out there as an option), he never does, and instead will put on any old cartoon regardless of how terrible or age inapproriate. Anyway, when I can't dissuade her from cartoons, we switch to Nickelodean or Cartoon network. Almost immediately I am bombarded with disgust at how terrible the commercials are - every single one is the most blatant, consumerist junk and you you can just hear it trying to brainwash your kids into begging for these toys. In two minutes last night we saw ads for some tacky, neon hair extension thing, some terrible space props that might have been Star Wars light sabers, and Sketchers shoes, or possibly a video game featuring Sketchers shoes, I'm not sure. These ads (not to mention the primarily lame/offensive shows themselves) immediately turn me into someone who wants to burn the television in order to save my children from its evil. And I am someone who can easily have the boob tube on 15 hours a day. Anyway, I was complaining about how horrible all of these ads are to my husband, and trying to figure out why I don't get any feelings like this when we watch the Disney channel, so today I paid attention. And you know what? I figured it out. It is because there aren't any ads on the Disney channel. Yes, there are breaks in the programs, but all of the commercials are for other Disney programs. For sure, this gets pretty repetitive (I may have to slap someone if the Cheetah Girls say "cheetalicious" one more time), but mainly it's easy to tune it all out without worrying that my kids are being exposed to images of toxic sugary treats and mind melting toys. And for a brand that is seriously consumerist, I think it is pretty surprising. I mean, I haven't been toa store in months that didn't have Hannah Montana plastered all over everything, so it totally wouldn't shock me if Disney used its commericals to hock sheets and lunch boxes. But it doesn't. It doesn't even try to push DVD's of the shows. All we have are simple, cheesy, non offensive children's programs that I am happy to let my kids watch without worrying they are going to be corrupted or turned into greedy monsters, and ads about the programs. Impressive.

Word Play

I was watching tv the other day (what else is new?) and reading a magazine, when an ad for Januvia came on. perhaps it was because I happened to be looking at a picture of Anne Hathaway right at that moment, but I noticed the similarity between Januvia and Genovia, the made up country she is princess of in The Princess Diaries. None of this has anything to do with the other, I just thought it was weird.

I Laughed Until My Cankles Hurt

Thank you, Lexmark, for giving me the best laugh I've had in a while. Your commercial started out a little bland: a family is sitting around with cords running everywhere interrupting things and the father explains how it is a metaphor for how even though things have gone wireless, they are tied to the printer. But then the grandmother says "your metaphor is cutting into my cankles" and it transcends into greatness. I can't wait to see it again.

Out On A Ledge

I have been meaning to comment on the new commerical for the LG Dare phone for a while. I like the basic premise - that it is so cool you will crawl out on a ledge just to touch it. But the fact that she almost slips of the ledge is ridiculous - it is a foot and a half wide! That is just stupid. Yes, it is narrow in terms of feeling comfortable crossing it, you would certainly be hugging the wall behind you, but it's plenty wide that you wouldn't be at risk of your foot sliding off. Unless you are wearing clown shoes or something. And it's just unneccesary to the commercial. I mean, the ledge would be scary enough, we don't really need to throw in completely implausible slippage just to add drama. Of course, I am also probably the only person totally disinterested in touch screen phones (my reaction to the iphone was, and still is, meh), so I'm less likely to be dazzled by the technology and ignore the flaws in the advertising.

Raising The Bar... On Bad Hair

Okay, so wen I first saw the ads for TNT's new show Raising the Bar I had to wonder what the heck was going on with Mark-Paul Gosselaar's hair? I am not a lawyer, nor am I particularly involved in the professional world - but I imagine that typically young lawyers have nicer, cleaner, more lawery hair cuts. Maybe there are a few that have shaggier, rock star looks going for them (public defenders? legal aid workers who can't afford hair cuts?), but that isn't even what this is. I've been debating on what to call it for a couple of days now: ship wreck hair? thematically related, but stylistically different pirate hair? Anyway, the problem has been answered for me in much funnier fashion by the fug girls. Here is their take.(note: for some reason the link takes you to the middle of the entry so you have to page up a little)

The McDonalds of Danish

Yesterday we treatd ourselves to a danish form the local grocery store bakery and it was the worst I've ever had. Stale and dry, with almost none of the delicious cheese it was supposed to feature. Even though previous purchases from the bakery have been good, we have decided that from now on we will stick with Entenmann's - always consistent, always delicious, always reliable. Maybe not the most exciting, but you know what you are going to get and you get it every time.