The Polar Express

I have an opinion on this movie, and if you are one of the people raving about it in my Facebook feed, you may not want to continue.

I've been hearing about this movie for years - since it came out and definitely since I had kids and became more acquainted with all things for them and what other parent's think.  So you could say I had at least marginal expectations for this movie to be if not good, then at least enjoyable.  And given the fairly consistent airings on tv every year, I've had opportunity to see it.  I've never made it longer than ten minutes.  But we were gifted the dvd this year so I popped it in for the kids this afternoon planning to get some uninterrupted reading time (MOTY).


And Oh.  My.  God.

Where do I start with this movie?  The half realistic half bizarrely stiff animated people (with inexplicably wooden puppet hands)?  The SUPER annoying kid on the train who is have been given the voice of a 45 year old straight out of Woody Allen?  The ridiculous (and ENDLESS) subplot of the lost/found/lost/flying/hovering/ ad nauseam ticket?  The continually moronic choices made by each and every character?  The total inconclusiveness given the conductor character as to whether he is a good guy or a bad guy?  Santa's elves which are apparently Jewish given their liberal use of Yiddish? (I actually find this amusing, but it is still too random for comprehension.)  Basically I can sum up my opinion of this movie in one word:

Barf.

And yet.  My kids sat completely still, and silent, and enthralled by watching it.  So I have no doubt that it will enter into our yearly Christmas seasonal viewing rotation.  Which currently only consists of one video - and medley of Christmas carols accompanied by random Disney scenes.  So we are hardly bringing down the average here.  But whatever.  The kids love it, so that's fine by me.  I'll just try and find other things to do whenever it's on.

But really, would it kill someone to make a holiday movie for kids that maybe not only didn't suck but is actually charming and intelligent and fun?  That would be nice.

ps: anyone who loves it want to explain to me why?  because I really don't get it and I'd love to hear your opinion on it.

Hand Dance This, McDonalds

You may have seen a McDonalds commercial for their coffee drinks with a couple doing some brief hand dancing intermingled with drinking whipped cream coffee concoctions.  You may also have wondered WTF? when seeing this commercial, as it is weird at best, stupid and annoying at worst.  But don't blame the hand dancers - they are simply taking advantage of their super cool viral video which, in the hands of corporate marketers, of course turns lame and stupid and annoying.  But the original video is awesome and totally mesmerizing (plus great tune!)


Check out the real thing:




ps: McDonalds, here's a tip: not everyone drinks caffeine.  How about offering some decaf versions of those foofy drinks?

Kraken

Kraken by China Mieville

This book is hard to fall in to.  The plot starts off very intriguing, but the language is so dense and enigmatic that you can't just flow into it and get swept away by the story.  It is definitely on purpose - the author is clearly going for some sort of hard boiled literary style, but I always find that just makes it harder to really get into the world of the book.  And the constant metaphors combined with the fast paced stylistic dialogue and extremely arcane (when not totally made up) vocabulary, served to make it very difficult for me to really get a picture in my head of what was happening.  Which is not particularly a criticism of the book: this book is very much about the language of the story and setting a particular tone, which I found hard to adapt to.  There is no exposition.  There is no explanation, and there is hardly any description of anything or anyone in the book, at least, of any sort that might be understood.  And example of "description" in this book:

"In Spitalfields, where the financial buildings overspilt like vulgar magma onto the remnants of the market, a group of angry subroutines performed the equivalent of a chanting circle in their facety iteration of aether."

Yes.  That is what the entire book is like.  The story itself is engaging - a preserved giant squid is stolen from a museum, throwing the main character Billy Harrow into an underworld of magic and religion and criminals that he never knew existed.  I just need it translated into everyday English where there are perceptible moments of description cluing me in to what the characters are actually doing and where they are. And to be honest, the last 150-200 pages or so, when the plot is finally coming to a head, does away with a lot of the thick, confusing text and just propels the story along in a way that is engaging and fun.  But, man, those first 300-350 pages are like fighting through a bramble.

And maybe you like that.  I know all of the reviews I've seen have been super positive (which is why I bought the book) and many compliment the writing style.  So I could be outing myself as pedantic and slow for wanting it to be written in plainer English.  it's all a matter of preference I guess.  I personally am a very fast reader and I prefer books that allow me to really fly through them, totally absorbed in the action and this book didn't allow me to do that.  If you are someone who really delights in the language of a book as well as the plot, then you will probably enjoy Kraken more than I did.

Gettin' My Brown Coat On

Recently, through the wonder of Netflix instant viewing, I have been introducing my dad to Firefly.  When ever he comes to visit we will squeeze in as many episodes as we can, and because it only lasted one season, we are almost finished - his trip at Christmas should wrap it up.  And the more we watch, the more I am reminded how wonderful this show truly was, and the more bummed out I get about it having been canceled.

I'll admit, I did not watch this show when it was on originally.  I can't remember exactly why - there must have been some time issue (I worked two jobs and therefore nights a lot during this time), because I am a fan of Nathan Fillion, as well as a HUGE Buffy fan, and so would have flocked to anything Joss Whedon did like the true believer that I am.  I also remember reading all about the show when it was first on, how critics loved it but the audiences weren't there, and I remember that it sounded interesting (a space western, literally) so I don't actually know why I never ended up seeing it live.

But none of that really matters - eventually, see it I did, and love it I did.  I suppose that only ever seeing it after it had been canceled saved me from some of the disappointment of having it taken off the air while I was caught up in it.  I would have been really upset to have it drop out right from under me, but it also gives me a little bit of guilt - like if I had been watching maybe it wouldn't have been canceled, you know?  Oh for the days before we had DVR!! How did we survive?


Anyway, all of this is just to say that the series is excellent, and way too short.  As my dad and I come to the end of the 14 fabulous episodes I find myself getting sad that I know it is coming to an end - especially since the overarching grand scheme of things is just starting to come into play beyond the usual adventure of the week stories.  I'm sad that the series ended, and isn't ever likely to be resurrected, even as a sequel to the movie Serenity because they killed Wash the pilot and it wouldn't be the same without him.  Boo.

Oh well.  If you are ever looking for something to watch, and you like whip smart dialogue, by all means check out Firefly.