The Polar Express

I have an opinion on this movie, and if you are one of the people raving about it in my Facebook feed, you may not want to continue.

I've been hearing about this movie for years - since it came out and definitely since I had kids and became more acquainted with all things for them and what other parent's think.  So you could say I had at least marginal expectations for this movie to be if not good, then at least enjoyable.  And given the fairly consistent airings on tv every year, I've had opportunity to see it.  I've never made it longer than ten minutes.  But we were gifted the dvd this year so I popped it in for the kids this afternoon planning to get some uninterrupted reading time (MOTY).


And Oh.  My.  God.

Where do I start with this movie?  The half realistic half bizarrely stiff animated people (with inexplicably wooden puppet hands)?  The SUPER annoying kid on the train who is have been given the voice of a 45 year old straight out of Woody Allen?  The ridiculous (and ENDLESS) subplot of the lost/found/lost/flying/hovering/ ad nauseam ticket?  The continually moronic choices made by each and every character?  The total inconclusiveness given the conductor character as to whether he is a good guy or a bad guy?  Santa's elves which are apparently Jewish given their liberal use of Yiddish? (I actually find this amusing, but it is still too random for comprehension.)  Basically I can sum up my opinion of this movie in one word:

Barf.

And yet.  My kids sat completely still, and silent, and enthralled by watching it.  So I have no doubt that it will enter into our yearly Christmas seasonal viewing rotation.  Which currently only consists of one video - and medley of Christmas carols accompanied by random Disney scenes.  So we are hardly bringing down the average here.  But whatever.  The kids love it, so that's fine by me.  I'll just try and find other things to do whenever it's on.

But really, would it kill someone to make a holiday movie for kids that maybe not only didn't suck but is actually charming and intelligent and fun?  That would be nice.

ps: anyone who loves it want to explain to me why?  because I really don't get it and I'd love to hear your opinion on it.