Drink This

I have been seeing the following ad in magazines everywhere:

and I really hate it. (If you can't read it it says "an overly caffeinated world deserves a sensibly caffeinated water"). First of all, the eye bugging thing is not only totally gross, but also not quite used correctly. According to almost every cartoon that utilizes the eye pop, it is an expression of shock or disbelief- not anger and frustration as this ad implies. I mean, really, are we supposed to think that this woman is surprised that her kids are fighting over the video game? Doubtful - and seriously, if you are too stupid not to buy one for each kid you deserve all the wars that will result - if you can't afford two, buy none. Secondly, where exactly is the depiction of people being overly caffeinated? Is it saying the kids are fighting because they are all hyped up (and why is she giving her kids caffeine anyway?), or is the mom blowing her top because she had one too many double lattes? It's confusing and stupid. But the third and by far the most grievous error is the tag line. It is not only stupid, but completely contradictory. Yes, this world is over caffeinated, but are they actually suggesting that caffeinated WATER is the solution? That somehow drinking water with caffeine will provide a solution to being over caffeinated? Because I'm not sure how that works. Seems to me the solution to being overly caffeinated is to drink LESS caffeine (or God forbid, even NONE), not put it into products that don't naturally contain it. In my opinion there is a sensibly caffeinated water - it's called water, and it has nothing in it at all. Water doesn't need flavor, or vitamins, or coloring (I've discussed this before), and it certainly doesn't need to have caffeine in it. Stop kidding yourself that you are drinking something healthy just because it says "water" on the label. If you want a sugary, caffeine fix bite the bullet and drink a Coke. As for me, I'll be the one without a racing pulse drinking plain old water from the tap.