Lock Your Doors and Plug Your Ears - American Idol is Back!

Listen up one and all, for American Idol has once again begun its fabulous, freaky cycle. I have often heard people wondering how long it can last – for how many years will people continue to line up to be ridiculed and mocked (and maybe handed a ‘golden ticket’) by Simon, Randy and Paula? And you can definitely see a difference in the people who audition now. The first several years you would see lots of people with decent voices who just weren’t quite good enough to make it all the way. Now, in the seventh season, there are fewer of these average Joes (or they just don’t make the show edits), and instead the hopefuls we see seems to be split into three categories: The people who can actually sing, the people who are trying to get on tv by being ridiculous (and seem to be weeded out pretty well by the producers, they mostly show up in the montages of auditions with the same song unless they have horrific costumes on), and the people who populate an alternative universe and have landed here by some terrible cosmic accident (a subset of this group being the ESL people who are so enthralled with America in general they missed the talent requirement for the contest). These are the ones I like to watch. Yeah, by the end I get sucked into the contest and am somewhat invested in the outcome (I voted for Carrie Underwood once), but mostly I like to see the auditions. Some of these characters (and they are characters) are so out of touch that it is really astonishing. I imagine that this is what Comic-Con looked like 10 years ago before it got hip, albeit with slightly fewer Star Trek costumes. Last year my husband and I actually vowed to avoid ever having to visit Seattle because of the freaks that auditioned in that city (for the record I’m sure it’s lovely, maybe just don’t drink the water). I can’t say I’ve really met too many crazies like this in my life, but man do they come out of the woodwork for a singing competition! Can you imagine what it must be like to wander into one of those stadiums with all of those loonies waiting around? As each year progresses I gain more and more respect for Ryan Seacrest’s ability to maintain a straight face (and seem interested) while speaking to them. Kudos, really. After the first night I have two hopes for the future: 1) that the weird glitter girl is never my veterinarian (good luck in “actressing” though), and 2) that I am never so deluded about my talents. For now, my money is on the kickboxing, horse trainer from Oregon.