It's Showtime!

Can I please ask why the hell every network schedules their shows for the same freaking times? The week nights are like the most ridiculous jackpots in terms of the shows I want to see (Wednesday and Thursday especially), and then the weekends are just pffft. Nothing. It was going all right - my DVR was maxxed out at two shows per time slot, but everything was handled until this week. When some of the USA original shows are coming back on. And instead of Fridays they are now during the week. When other stuff is on.

WHY DO THEY DO THIS?

Let me tell you, Assface Network Dipshits: there are people who stay home on Friday and Saturday nights. Did you hear me? They STAY AT HOME. And WATCH TELEVISION.

Call me lame, call me a loser, call me old, I don't care. The fact is I have three small children, an empty bank account, and a fat ass that couldn't squeeze into anything other than my sweat pants even if I wanted it to. I'm not going anywhere any time, pick a night of the week. And judging by the conversations and sheer volume that happens on Twitter on several of these nights, I'm thinking I'm not alone at home. So please, put something on for me to watch. Advertisers have taken into account the whole DVR time shift thing with product placement, so that cannot be what is driving these ridiculous decisions to put everything on at the same time. I get it, you're fighting for your market share. What I don't get is how you haven't figured out that you will get a bigger piece of the pie on a night when there is nothing else on. Duh. Go up against American Idol, the Biggest Loser and NCIS? No thanks. Go up against the reruns of weekly shows and various lame sporting events? Bring it on.

The way people view television is changing - ratings are vastly effected by time shifting and people watching shows on DVR at times other than when they originally aired. But DVRs are still limited - as far as I know most only tape two shows at one time - and you can't watch a third as those two are taping. So spread the wealth, networks - you have started airing original programming year round (remember the eternal rerun summer seasons of yore?) - so why not all week?

This is neither the coherent nor the empassioned argument I was hoping for when I sat down to write. But you cannot expect eloquence from an addict all worked up about disruptions in her supply stream. the best you can hope for is a rambling, confused missive, which is what you got.

The best I can hope for is to pester my husband until he breaks down and gets me a second DVR so I can have the majesty of taping/watching FOUR shows at once. Until then I'll hunch on my bed and suffer through commercials to watch the third show in any given timeslot.

The trials I bear, I tell you.