Fast Five

Let's face it: if this movie appeals to you, you are probably already planning to see it, and if it doesn't, then nothing I say is going to sway you.  And that's cool- obviously, this is not really a franchise that is seeking to expand it's audience across all demographics.  So I'll just tell you what I thought about the film (oh let's face it - this ain't no film, it's a MOVIE).

I have seen every installment of the Fast and Furious franchise (although I can't remember the last installment at all), so I feel confident saying that this is, if not the best one, at least a return to the glory days on the first movie.  Is it high art? Of course, not.  But it is super fun, and what it lacks in depth it sure makes up for in flash.  The plot is thin, but also a little more coherent than some of the other movies - seriously, what the hell was going on in the first sequel?- and slightly more than just an excuse to have the characters drive around in wicked cool cars.  In essence this is actually a heist movie, with a cast of characters from all of the other sequels popping up to fill the various roles of gadget guy, master of disguise, bickering brothers, etc. as dictated by the new modern heist.  Never mind that why these people fit into these various roles is unclear - they are never really asked to do anything to fill them anyway.  I mean, the chick that is supposed to be a weapons expert never does anything with any weapons except for clean them in one scene.  Basically, the writers tried a little something to echo the cool cast of characters intro in movies such as Ocean's Eleven, and it didn't quite work.  They would have been better off just being like "hey, let's call some people we know who can drive super well and know random stuff about safe cracking and whatnot, and that will be our team."  But none of that really matters, because once the team gets together it is clear they work well as a cohesive unit, so stereotypical movie characterizations be damned.

The biggest draw for this movie is the long awaited match up between Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson (forever The Rock).  And while it is a great fight scene, let me just say that it is only in the movies!  The real life toughness of Dwayne Johnson shines through so strongly against the false actory bravado of Vin Diesel, that the fact that the fight is a fairly even match kind of comes across as a joke.  If there is any way The Rock wouldn't completely wipe the floor with Vin, then I fill out a bikini like one of the girls in this movie.  I also found it a wee bit difficult to root against The Rock - after all, Vin and Paul Walker are the heroes of this film, so we don't want the big bad Fed on their tail to catch up; but it's kind of hard not to want Dwayne to get his guy.  Of course, as is typical of this kind of movie, everything works out in the end, so no real worries there.

Despite the draw of two big screen macho men duking it out, the real highlight of this movie is of course the driving stunts.  The climactic chase involves two identical black cars (yes, that is as detailed as you are going to get out of me, a total car dunce), speeding in unison through the streets of Rio, trailing a giant bank vault.  The sight of that thing swinging through turns like an enormous wrecking ball was great fun, especially since the characters apparently are such skilled drivers that, with no practice whatsoever, they are able to accurately swerve to crash it into police cars at will. Ridiculous?  Yes.  But still thrilling as hell.

Basically,  this movie is everything you would expect, or hope it to be.  It may not be your cup of tea, but it is one hell of a ride.  Oh, and heads up - if you do go see it, stay through at least the first few minutes of the end credits.


Fast Five 2hr 10min  PG-13