Priest

 This movie was a real disappointment.  Not because it was particularly awful, but because it could have been so much better.  It had a cool premise - some dystopian future/otherworld where history has been filled with an endless war between man and vampire (NOT regular, Dracula/Twilight vampires, but a whole different species of animal).  The church has become the safeguard of humankind, partially in thanks to super warriors called priests who were strong enough and fast enough to fight the vampires.  At the time of the movie, the vampires have been locked away on "reservations" and the priests have been left on the outskirts of society, unable to be accepted because of the powers they are no longer able to use.

Unrequited love, corrupt government/religious figures denying the truth in favor of blind faith and self interest in power, the purpose and existence of warriors in a culture once there is no more war; these are all themes that were introduced and summarily ignored by this movie.  They also had the unique premise of a sci-fi horror western mashup, which was basically used for costuming only and not explored further.  Oh, and the eyeless vampires (which look exactly like something from another movie - but I totally can't think of what) made for some pretty badass creepies - too bad they didn't get much screen time either.

Instead we were treated to numerous shots of high tech, high speed motorcycles racing across the barren wastelands (a great image, but seriously, once or twice paints the picture just fine, thanks), and a climactic battle where never once did we question the good guys' ability to win, and that was over almost before it started.  if anything, the big climactic battle of this movie played out like the initial fight scene in a normal action movie.  You know the formula: movie intro, set up, fight scene where the good guy prevails, twist where the good guy gets his ass kicked or learns it goings to be way harder than he thought, climax where he wins by the skin of his teeth, most likely after being severely wounded.  This movie threw out that formula, but not in favor of originality- instead it was more like someone said "okay, this is great, but let's edit out anything that seems like it might cause hardship for our hero."  So we're just left with a battle that is entirely too easy to win, and a victory that seems that much more hollow for it.

The cast (lead by Paul Bettany and Karl Urban) was good, even with the sparse dialogue and limitations they were given - look serious and tough and world weary seem to be the main acting directions- and the special effects were fine, if a little derivative - super high, slow motion jumping are great to demonstrate super fight skills, but feel a little thin in the absence of real tension.  This movie is based on a comic, and I'm wondering if the director was a little ambitious when adapting this movie, because it has a real serial feel to it.  To be honest, the lack of emotional depth and serious drama wouldn't have felt as gaping if this were the pilot to a tv show or something.  The ending clearly sets up future action as the world of the movie seems to be headed back into war - and if the closing credits had rolled over a "to be continued...." I would feel invigorated and excited about the next installment.  As it is, the movie may have been hoping for a sequel, but they seem to have misunderstood that to leave 'em wanting more you have to give them something to want first.  Nobody likes a story if they only hear the first chapter, and nobody is going to greenlight a sequel to a movie no one liked.

And seriously, what is the point of having a whole army of vampires if we never see them in action?

Final verdict: if the previews have tempted you in anyway, it is worth a rental.  But not really worthy the cash for feature film, and definitely not worth 3D (I'm assuming, I never see 3D).  And somebody should really get on the idea of using this as the launch for a tv series or miniseries at least.  Four or five little segments like this and we could have a pretty satisfying story.  Which of course, is the problem.


Priest 1hr 27min PG-13


ps: if you like the whole combo of western and graphic novel type sci-fi (this time with ninjas!), check out: The Warrior's Way 

pps: the best line in the whole movie - after one character has let loose with his shotgun at a horde of vampires "you'd have made a good priest."  Heh.