Spoiler Free Summary of Game of Thrones Season 6

- John Snow: not dead, but not super charismatic either****

- not enough Tyrion

- Brienne + Tormund = yes, please

- Hodor

- feed your dogs

- a girl is Arya Stark and she's a fucking badass 

- Bitches get shit done. Seriously. Forget winter: THE WOMEN ARE COMING 

**** and and AND <spoiler redacted>

September/ October Reading

Had a solid couple of months. Several books I really enjoyed, and nothing that made me want to vomit.

The Jezebel Remedy- Martin Fillmore Clark: decent legal thriller, albeit incredibly slow paced. And the ending wasn't quite enough of a payoff to merit the slog through.

Alive- Scott Sigler: Thrilling YA sci-fi. Fast read, keeps you turning pages with a tight grip. I read it in a single afternoon.

In A Dark Dark Wood- Ruth Ware: Fast, gripping 'who done what?' that keeps you turning pages and features a character almost as awful as Amy Dunn

Everybody Rise- Stephanie Clifford: decent pseudo chick-lit about the pitfalls of keeping up with the glitterati. Not quite fizzy enough to be just a fun read, and it really tests the limits of how much rabid social climbing can be tolerated, but it didn't get bogged down in the inevitable crash either.

Make Me- Lee Child: Jack Reacher #20. Enough said.

Dietland- Sarai Walker: almost excellent pseudo satire commentary about the pressure to be thin and the double standards placed on women's appearance- sexuality. Kind of blah ending.

Day Four- Sarah Lotz: this will NOT make you want to take a cruise, but it also won't scare your pants off. Which it is clearly trying to do. And the ending is halfway between meh and total cop-out.

The Luckiest Girl Alive- Jessica Knoll: yet another "the new Gone Girl" that doesn't benefit from the comparison. Good, but not great, and description led me to anticipate some big 11th hour reveal or twist that never materialized. No doubt I would have liked it more without that misleading expectation.

The Hand That Feeds You- S.J. Rich:  this book is actually a collaboration between two authors (under pen name), and it reads like they just alternated paragraphs without reading what came before. Lots of random, non essential (or interesting) information, not very much character development. The premise was good, but the execution was weak.

Missoula- Jon Krakauer: excellent examination of the abhorrent handling of rape in this country, as seen through several cases that occurred in Missoula MT in 2012. Absolutely infuriating and physically sickening at certain points how the "justice" system fails to properly navigate this minefield. I will be giving it to my daughters to read when they are old enough.

Nightfall- Jake Halpern/ Peter Kujawinski: decent young adult horror/ fantasy. On an island where the sun stays up for 14 years, and the inhabitants leave with the sun. 3 teenagers are left behind to survive the secrets in the darkness. Good premise, predictable execution.

An Ember In The Ashes- Sabaa Tahir: excellent first book in a new fantasy series. Perhaps not earth shatteringly original, but exciting, well written, and with chads ter you genuinely like and care about. Can't wait for book 2

You: A Novel- Caroline Kepnes: twisty and creepy and probably the most enjoyable book ever written in 2nd person.

Primates of Park Avenue- Wednesday Martin: the bits about the ridiculous lifestyles of the uber rich women on Upper East Side of Nee York is interesting, and the anthropological spin the author outs on it is somewhat amusing, if tiresome after a point. But the author herself is insufferable in the way she insists she is somehow apart from the rest of this rarified "tribe," even while hunting for the perfect multimillion dollar apartment on just the right block and insisting her husband mine every connection and pull every string to get her a 5 figure handbag.

Reading List: July/August

Pretty much everything I read in July was lame. Fortunately August picked up a bit.
Where They Found Her- Kimberly McCreight: compelling mystery, with enough twists and false leads to keep you guessing. I never felt caught up in a frantic need to keep turning pages, but still, I read it in a single afternoon.
Tell Me Lies- Jennifer Crusie: so insipidly stupid. Could have been a decent romance/mystery if the main character wasn't such a pathetic loser.
The Shining Girls- Lauren Beukes: captivating cat and mouse with a serial killer striking randomly across Chicago, and the escaped victim trying to track him down. Plus time travel, which worked much better than you'd think.
(R)evolution- PJ Manney: starts off like a bioengineering terrorist story and then veers into governmental conspiracies and secret power clubs. All with mind boggling "science" and a hero that gets less and less human. Started strong and ended ridiculous- like the book version of the movie Lucy.
Armada- Ernest Cline: decent, if totally predictable sci-fi, elevated to excellent by virtue of copious pop culture references.
The Blondes- Emily Schultz: A mysterious plague sweeps the Earth, affecting only blonde women and turning them into raging psychopaths. Except instead of being a chilling horror story, or thought provoking satire about beauty and cultural aesthetics, this book is focused on an insipid and morose protagonist. Such a waste of a clever concept.
Crash and Burn- Lisa Gardner: very twisty, hard to guess thriller. Bogged down by a little too much main character amnesia.
Dead Wake- Eric Larsen: fascinating narrative non-fiction about the last sailing of the Lusitania and the U-boat that took her down.
The Rithmatist- Brandon Sanderson: teen genre fantasy about a boy at a school where they train rithmatists- people that battle chalk drawings come to life. Sounds ridiculous when I explain it, but seriously, Sanderson is incapable of writing a stinker. If your kids (or you) like Harry Potter, give it a try.
Memory Man- David Baldacci: I always grab books by Baldacci because I know they will be fast paced and engrossing. This was no different- a brand new character I really like and hope to read more of.
Freedoms Child- Jax Miller: slightly disjointed thriller, with almost too many antagonists and story lines for proper suspense. Didn't love it, didn't hate it.
Half a War- Joe Abercrombie: Third book in a series, maybe not the strongest one but still good.
Finders Keepers- Stephen King: sequel to Mr. Mercedes, but you don't have to have read it to enjoy this one. Although you should, because they're both excellent. Great characters and plot, as you'd expect from King.

Reading May/June

Managed a decent number of books the past 2 months- all before we left for vacation. Since getting to steamboat I have only managed 3 books- something about not leaving children unattended in the pool lest they drown. Here's what I read:
Reign of Ash- Gail Z Martin: book 2 of The Ascendant Kingdoms Saga. Not nearly as good as the first book. Not nearly enough plot to justify the length, which makes the author's amateur writing (or should I blame it on bad editing?) much less tolerable.
War of Shadows- Gail Z Martin: completely pointless book 3 of Ascendant Kingdoms. Did absolutely nothing to further the storyline of the first two books, and I just cannot deal with the author's intensely amateurish writing. I'm done with this series.
White Plague- James Abel: military/disaster thriller about the rescue of a submarine crew stranded on the Arctic ice. Exciting and quick read.
I Am Pilgrim- Terry Hayes: fantastic spy novel. Detailed enough to be realistic (and terrifying), fast paced and convoluted enough to be engrossing. A real page turner.
Yes Please- Amy Poehler: this book was not particularly funny (just like most of the biographies I've read by very funny women). It was interesting, and it was surprisingly inspiring and eye opening. A lot of it was 'this happened to me' stuff, but there were some real deep LIFE LESSON type gems in there too. I'm kind of mad I got this at the library because there were passages that needed highlighting. I loved her before, but now she's my guru.
Inherit Midnight- Kate Kae Myers: fast paced and fun read. Finished almost in one evening. Gets a little bogged down in sappy romance at the end, but I think that's par for the course with YA fiction.
Just What Kind Of Mother Are You- Paula Daly: frazzled, overwhelmed mother inadvertently involved in the disappearance of her best friend's daughter. Twisty and interesting, even if the self pity/ guilt of the main character was a little trying.
The Dinner- Herman Koch: partially dark and twisted satire, partially just kind of tedious and whiny. If anything, this really needed to be darker and or more satirical to be really good, but it is translated from the original language (Dutch maybe?) so it's possible that the full extent got lost in translation.
You Should Have Known- Jean Hangf Korelitz: meh. Yet another book mired in the inner monologue of a miserable person, except this time she was also very smug and snobbish too so you hardly felt bad when her life fell apart. Which was sort of the point of the book, but still didn't make for very fun reading. It is clearly a focus of novels to be all about what characters think and feel, but I really prefer what they do. I like books where stuff happens
Bittersweet- Wittemore: mystery and intrigue and the depravity of the filthy rich. What's not to like? A little to heavy handed with the 'everyone has terrible secrets' that were beyond easy to guess, but good nonetheless.
The Unfortunate Importance of Beauty- Amanda Filipacchi: bizarrely magical yet realistic, vaguely humorous and totally engrossing. Although almost disturbingly negative towards every aspect of being physically attractive.
Bellweather Rhapsody- Kate Racculia: I enjoyed this book, but I didn't love it and I'm not sure I can out my finger on why. Decent mystery, although despite a missing girl and a terrible snow storm trapping everyone in a fading resort hotel there is never any real sense of urgency or danger. Like death and tragedy and the fallout are all sort of happenstance, but by all means let's deeply explore the way music can make you feel. Huh. Maybe I do know why I didn't love it.
Red Notice- Bill Browder: fascinating, infuriating, intense, and horrifying. And TRUE.
Full Black- Brad Thor: run of the mill spy thriller, and while the main bad guy is a stretch, the intermediary acts of terrorism are all too possible.
The Forgotten Room- Lincoln Child: decent thriller, but pushing the boundaries of acceptable suspension of reality.
Watching You- Michael Robotham: Better than average thriller, and while there was no huge twist, it kept me guessing what was really happening for most of it.
Life or Death- Michael Robotham: Well written thriller about a possibly innocent man who escapes prison one day before being released. Lik able and interesting characters, nicely paced plot keeps you reading.

Reading: March/April

Because I'm clever, I decided to up my game last time by providing a little synopsis with each title. Because I am obsessive, I must continue that plan for all entries this calendar year. Because I am stupid, I didn't do this on a 'just completed' basis, so now I have to see if I can dredge up some memory of these books.
On Immunity- Eula Biss: very quick read exploring vaccines and the current controversy surrounding them. Uses logic and fact without being condescending or dry.
The Joy of Less- Francine Jay: I definitely found the author a little irritating, and there were few specific "get rid of this, keep that" tips than I'd hoped (which, honestly, wouldn't be possible unless she's been to my specific house). But it was still a good inspiration to start winnowing down and purging all the excess.
Shadow of Night- Deborah Harkness: 2nd book of the All Souls trilogy (first book is A Discovery of Witches). I reread this to remind myself what was happening before finishing the series. Didn't find it quite as annoyingly "romantic" as I did the first time. Still not nearly as good as the first book.
The Book of Life- Deborah Harkness: book 3 of the All Souls trilogy. This book could basically have been the last few chapters. A whole bunch of nothing happened, with a stunningly obvious and anticlimactic finale. Also, the characters were annoyingly inconsistent- are you brave or stupid? Are you incapable of even functioning away from your lover (ick), or are you a strong, independent person? Seriously. Pick one.
One Step Too Far- Tina Seskis: Woman decides to completely upend her life after mysterious tragedy, leaving her husband and starting over under a new name. The concept was interesting, even if the main character was a little too naive/ depressed to be very charismatic. But then the final reveal of the tragedy was just too horrible and kind of killed everything.
The Lost Island- Preston and Child: I've liked the other books featuring Gideon Crew as a roguish thief saving the day. This was so terrible, and pushed all limits of plausible suspension of disbelief. Not worth the $1 rental fee
Deadline- John Sandford: the latest entry in the Virgil Flowers series. Fun and easy read, as usual.
Her- Harriet Lane: tried to be mysterious and sinister, but failed miserably. So instead it's basically about 2 women forming a friendship, one out of desire to escape the dull depression she feels about being a stay at home mother, and the other because of some perverse obsession. Has a truly horrific cliffhanger ending.
The Martian- Andy Weir: there's a good chance this will be my favorite book of the year, partly because it has the best backstory. The author self published to his website, then published for $.99 on kindle when his readers demanded it. Raced to the Kindle bestseller list, the then New York times bestseller list, and now they're making a movie. For a book he wrote just for fun! It's about an astronaut stranded alone on Mars, and it manages to be incredible fun and fast paced while also so smart and  realistic. Incredibly fast read.
What Alice Forgot- Liane Moriarty: didn't like this quite as much as Big Little Lies, but WAY more than The Husbands Secret.
Golden Son- Pierce Brown: sequel to Red Rising. Along the same lines as Hunger Games and Ender's Game. Not as strong as the first, but still very enjoyable. Looking forward to the next book.
Steelheart- Brandon Sanderson: this guy is the best sci-fi fantasy writer out there. Every idea is unbelievable original and complete. This is book one of the Reckoners series (YA fiction) and it's in the popular dystopian future vein. Fun, fast read, and I didn't even guess all the twists.
Firefight- Brandon Sanderson: book 2 of the Reckoners. Continues and improves upon the first book. Really bums me out I have to wait a year to read the next (last?) book.
Half a King- Joe Abercrombie: book one of the Shattered Sea series. Not as violent or gory as his usual books, but still fairly brutal. Standard 'betrayed king left for dead seeks to reclaim his throne' fantasy.
Half The World- Joe Abercrombie: book two of the Shattered Sea series. Nothing earth shatteringly original, but well written, and with some appealing new characters I liked even better than the first book.
As Good As Dead- Elizabeth Evans: insipid, dreadful "story" about a self-obsessed, self-pitying woman and her constant internal monologue over being dull, and unloveable, and ugly and a horrible person. I hated this book.
Ice Forged- Gail Z Martin: book one of The Ascendant Kingdoms Saga. Reread this book as a reminder before reading the next two in the series. Good story line and characters, but her writing is very amateurish.

Reading List Jan/Feb

Although I'm not madly reading in search of a quantity goal like last year, I still keep track of everything I read (actually have for years), and I figure what better way to knock out a blog post than by listing the books I've read? On a bimonthly rate this year, which was totally planned and not just because I forgot after January.
Red Country- Joe Abercrombie: roughly in the fantasy genre, Abercrombie writes the most realistic, violent, badass stories. Another enjoyable entry into his world (and a fun allusion to an old favorite character)
The Heroes- Joe Abercrombie: returning characters from the First Kings trilogy engage in an epic, bloody 3 day battle.
The Fever- Megan Abbott: a mysterious illness spreads through a group of young girls in a suburban community. Abbott gets good reviews, but I just can't quite get into her books.
Big Little Lies- Liane Moriarty: liked this SO much more than The Husband's Secret. Probably because as the mother of several elementary age children I related to the gossipy PTA tone more.
California- Edan Lepucki: pretty damn dull for a post apocalyptic survival story.
The Winter People- Jennifer McMahon: Eerie and haunting. I really enjoyed this book
The Young Elites- Marie Lu: YA fantasy pitting a few survivors of a deadly illness (who developed special powers) against a society that treats all survivors as subhuman. The first book in a series, this was a fun and fast read.
Into a Raging Blaze- Andreas Norman: a spy "thriller" set in Sweden, where the spy is actually just an bureaucratic ambassador rather than a Jason Bourne type. Offers interesting insight into the gray areas of espionage and international diplomacy, but unfortunately isn't especially page turning.
The Girl On The Train- Paula Hawkins: touted as the next Gone Girl, the mystery was predictable and the main characters somewhat unlikeable. I enjoyed the book though.
The Broken Eye (Lightbringer #3)- Brent Weeks: third book in a fantasy series, and by far the best. Can't wait for #4!
Astonish Me- Maggie Shipstead: soap opera plot involving professional ballet that somehow manages to be totally boring.
Visitation Street- Ivy Pochoda: just awful and dull. Two girls go out onto a raft at night, and only one returns. What follows is mind numbing endless (although very skillful) description of oppressive hopelessness and heat, as well as 40 million references to the location of Red Hook Brooklyn
The Kind Worth Killing- Peter Swanson: the ACTUAL next Gone Girl. Fun and thrilling, featuring despicable characters you like despite yourself.
Red Rising- Pierce Brown: YA along the lines of Hunger Games and Ender's Game. Brilliant, physically perfect teenagers engaged in brutal, deadly training. I loved it
The Silent Wife- A.S.A Harrison: Interesting examination of a marriage off the rails, culminating in the murder of the husband. That isn't a spoiler- it's in the first chapter. I'm not entirely sure why this was so compelling, but I read it in a single afternoon.

December Reading

I did it!! Over 100 books read in a single year (officially 106)!! According to Goodreads, I read 41,532 pages. I kind of can't believe it, but at the same time I definitely feel like I could have done more- there were months where I was barely above a book a week. Even this month my total was a less than stellar 8 (albeit some were 700 pagers). But I don't think I'm going to be setting any higher yearly goals- my husband would prefer if I didn't stop doing everything altogether in favor of just reading constantly. So moving forward, I'm going to focus on adding in some more non-fiction books into my regular reading. And I will keep up my monthly lists so you know what I've read, although it isn't particularly helpful for you if I never post reviews. Maybe that can be a goal as well?

My final list for 2014:
The First Rule- Robert Crais
The Watchman- Robert Crais
The Forgotton Man- Robert Crais
Chasing Darkness- Robert Crais
The Blade Itself- Joe Abercrombie
Before They Are Hanged- Joe Abercrombie
The Last Argument of Kings- Joe Abercrombie
Best Served Cold- Joe Abercrombie

So that's it. Another whole year on the books. Here's to a great 2015!!



The rest of my year:

November, October, September, July/August, June, May, April, March, February, January

November Reading

November was marginally successful in terms of total read - 8 books, but woefully unsatisfactory in terms of the books themselves. Loved Jack Reacher as usual, and I finished with an acceptable entry in bubbly chick lit, but the rest were Dullsville all the way. It was really a bummer. I definitely could have read another book this month timewise, but I just didn't know what to pick. My ability to pick winners has seriously eroded in the past few months- I hope I can finish the year strong with enjoyable books, rather than plodding through poorly executed junk. Only one more to go to reach 100!

What I read this month:

The Death Cure- James Dashner
Annihilation- Jeff VanderMeer
End of Secrets- Ryan Quinn
Hush- Kate White
The Fire Seekers- Richard Farr
Personal- Lee Child
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot- David Shafer
Accidental It a Girl- Libby Street

previous months:

October, September, July/August, June, May, April, March, February, January

October Reading

October got me back in the swing of reading again, with ten books added to my tally.  Which, if you are keeping track at home, currently stands at 92 books! I actually had to count twice to make sure- this is the most I've read in a single year, and I still have two months left! Probably going to jinx myself, but it's going to be pretty hard not to hit my goal of 100 books in a single year. Which is good, because I didn't come close to achieving a single other resolution this year. Here's what I read in October:

The Directive - Matthew Quirk

The Queen of the Tearling - Erika Johansen

Age of Opportunity - Laurence Steinberg

The Girl With All The Gifts - M.R. Carey

The Magician's Land - Lev Grossman

Shovel Ready - Adam Sternbergh

Dear Daughter - Elizabeth Little

Mr. Mercedes - Stephen King

The Scorch Trials - James Dashner

The Death Cure - James Dashner

September, July/August, June, May, April, March, February, January 

The Queen Of The Tearling

You guys, this book was SO TERRIBLE. I'm not sure where I heard about it, typically whenever I see something that interests me I slap it on my library hold list so I don't have to remember anything. But usually I get my book recommendations from reputable sources, and while there have certainly been books that I didn't like, they were always well written, decent books. 

Not this time. 

The basic story is fine: generic fantasy trope of the girl who was raised in hiding to protect her from evildoers until she could assume her role as queen when she came of age. Fine. Nothing wrong with clichéd plot lines. But seriously, maybe read a book or two in the genre before venturing in yourself. Or, you know, do some ACTUAL RESEARCH.  I know more about how to properly guard someone through the forest than this author, and I never go outside. I could also rattle off a decent list of names for pieces of armor, if not 100% match them to what they actually are. Here's a hint- there's more to it than just the breastplate. 

But even more than that are the glaring inconsistencies in almost every aspect of this book. The main character has been raised in isolation by two people- never exposed to anyone else or allowed to play with other children. And yet she is an excellent judge of character and can read body language and facial expressions like some street savvy con artist. Okaaaay. 

 They are rushing through the woods to get her to the castle to be crowned, fully aware that there are groups of the most dangerous assassins in the land searching for them, and yet the guards chatter and drink and play cards around the campfire. Professional. 

Every wound she gets involves drastic blood loss leading to loss of consciousness and near fatality, but she gets stitched up and is back at it the next day. Realistic. 

The queens guard are all sworn to protect her, but they're also apparently sworn to secrecy and can't tell her anything about her mother the previous queen (who she never knew), or the kingdom, or the current state of affairs anywhere , or any actual useful information related to actually ruling a country. Oh, and we never get an explanation on why they are sworn to secrecy, or to whom, or just what topics can't be mentioned. It's more like "you better be a great queen, but we can't give you any help, or teach you anything at all about how to do the job. Don't mess up!" Yeah, seems logical.

A respectable portion of any fantasy novel is the world building. Some authors are incredible at this (Brandon Sanderson I'm looking at you!), and some are less so. That's why so many inhabit that familiar, vaguely middle age Europe-land. No big deal. As long as it hangs together realistically and we can understand the basic rules of magic and what not, proceed. But this book is apparently taking place in OUR universe, some indeterminate length of time in the future, after the British and the Americans have sailed off (somewhere) and formed a new land. With no technology. And swords. And magic. Totally plausible, right? I mean, sure. That could totally happen. But here's the catch: if you are making up a world from scratch, have at it. Do whatever you want, the readers are just along for the ride. But if you are going to set it in the world we live in EVERY SINGLE DAY, then you best out on your thinking cap 'cuz you have some 'splaining to do. You need to know WHY these people set off to found a completely new land with multiple countries. You need to know HOW they planned to establish the rule of government, and WHAT the basic tenets of their founding fathers were. (Also helpful, what happened to the rest of the world? Is regular America still there?). The suggestion in the book is that they were trying to create some kind of utopia, but no mention is given to what kind of utopia. Socialist? Extreme doomsday prepper utopia where the zombies can't get us? I can't think of anyone who would decide to start a new colony without any basic political goals, not to mention with no real attempt at bringing along basic fundamentals of modern life. They did say there was an effort to bring along modern medicine, but that every single doctor and piece of medical equipment was on the same ship and it sank. So no more doctors of people who know anything about medicine, and I guess unlike the first time through history we are unable to re-discover any of it? I don't know. Suffice to say, the success of fantasy books set in our universe (hunger games, divergent) lies in the fact that while the circumstances that led to those realities are implausible, they are still imaginable. There is an underlying foundation to rest the story on, whether or not the source of the implied apocalypse is ever explained. In this instance it seems more like "hey, won't it be fun to base my novel her on Earth? That way I can pepper it with references to Harry Potter and The Hobbit."

Speaking of Harry Potter, the main character is a fan of reading, and basically grew up with the only books left in the entire country. She is aghast at the scarcity of books, and at how most people seem to not even miss having access to them. There hasn't been mandatory schooling for children in over 20 years. And yet literally everyone she comes across, including the young children of a peasant woman she rescued and takes into service, can read. Seriously. And it's shocking when they discover one of the characters can't read. Over a century of no one reading and yet no one is illiterate? I feel like you have to actually TRY to be this incompetent. 

In all fairness, I don't completely blame the author. After all, there are plenty of idiots out there stringing words together into sentences (welcome to my blog). But the editor, who presumably checked this for errors (no way this shit didn't have typos EVERYWHERE), didn't find any flaws in the logic? And the publisher, who read this even BEFORE editing, still decided it was worth the time and money to actually print? Insane. 

Not only that, but apparently this is not only going to be a SERIES a of (stupid) books, but also a movie. With Emma Watson, who is about the most darling thing ever and who I'm struggling to retain my respect for after hearing she was linked to this crap. Given the basic plotline I'm sure it could make a decent movie, provided they don't let the author within a hot like of the script. But I don't think I'll be able to stomach shelling out money for anything in anyway associated with such lazy, inept storytelling. 

I haven't thought about my dream of being a writer in a long time, having turned my attention elsewhere, to yoga and my kids. But seriously, if this is the kind of quality hitting shelves nowadays, then maybe I should get back to it. Hell, my NaNoWriMo novel from 4 years ago is still on my hard drive. It has more logical coherence than this drivel and it doesn't even have an ending. 

ps: I kind of want to recommend to everyone I know that they read it just so I can shout "I KNOW, RIGHT?" when they point out how awful it is. I also kind of want to personally punch everyone in Amazon who gave it a 5 star review because, really? Did you READ the book? No way they read the book. 

pps: here's a link to my Amazon review.  In case you still aren't sure how I feel about this book 

September Reading List

On first glance, my September reading list seems a little paltry at only 6 books. But two of those books are 1000 pages long, so in that light it's not too shabby. What I read:

The Magician King- Lev Grossman

Codex- Lev Grossman 

The Broken Window- Jeffrey Deaver

Fatal Error- J.A. Jance

The Way of Kings- Brandon Sanderson (1001 pages)

Words of Radiance- Brandon Sanderson (1080 pages)

July/August, June, May, April, March, February, January 

July And August Reading List

August was shameful on the reading front. Only 5 books! And July was barely any better at 7. So I guess it is good I forgot to post July and combine them into one post with the appearance of decent reading accomplishments. We're getting to the home stretch here, can't go dropping the ball now! For the record, my year-to-date measures as 76 books read. 

July:

The Bhagavad Gita- by Stephen Mitchell (translation)

The Hot Zone- Richard Preston 

Missing You- Harlan Coben

The Divorce Papers- Susan Rieger

Killing Floor- Lee Child

The Silkworm- Robert Galbraith

Gone Tomorrow- Lee Child

Aug:

Supreme Justice- Max Allan Collins

Persuader- Lee Child

One Shot- Lee Child

Season To Taste- Natalie Young

The Magicians- Lev Grossman

 June, May, April, March, February, January 

June Reads

Well, I sure dropped the ball in June. Only 9 books read. NINE. And none of them were long, or hard. Hell, two of them I'd read before, and another one I read in a single day. Pathetic. I suppose it's possible I read some that I forgot to write down, but that's just pathetic in a whole different way. Behold my anemic accomplishment:

Dreams of Gods and Monsters- Laini taylor

Worth Dying For- Lee Child

Before We Met- Lucie Whitehouse

The Hit- David Baldacci

Wolf- Mo Hayder

Until You're Mine- Samantha Hayes

Bossypants- Tina Fey

The Bricklayer- Noah Boyd

Agent X- Noah Boyd

 May, April, March, February, January 

Letter To Jeff Bezos

Dear Mr. Bezos:

I have an idea that I think you should seriously consider. I think that the purchase of any book through your site should include a code for the Kindle version. Now, this code would not necessarily have to mean a FREE download- perhaps simply a discounted rate for anyone who wants to add the digital version to their book purchase (higher % discount for hardcover purchases than paperbacks). You could even only offer this service to Prime members. 

I am an avid reader, and I vastly prefer actual books to reading digitally. However, while I prefer to purchase the physical book, there are many circumstances that require the ease and portability of an ereader. Traveling, for example. I also re-read my favorites quite often, and having an option of how I can consume material I've already paid full price for would be appreciated. I'm a big fantasy fan, and sometimes there are years in between sequels (ahem, George RR Martin)- not to mention they can be 1000s of pages and very heavy in a purse or briefcase! But I would never give up adding the book to my bookshelf. 

Anytime I purchase a book through Amazon, I would love to see an option at check out: add the Kindle version for $5? I can tell you that I personally would click 'yes' pretty much every time, and I think other customers would too. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this- I hope you think this idea is a great as I do!

Kate Johnson

May Reading List

I'm not sure what I did with the month of May, but it apparently wasn't read.  A respectable yet somewhat anemic 10 books passed my eyeballs this month. June and July are shaping up to be fairly busy too, so my efforts in the next few months may be severely lacking.  I'm up to 56 books this year so far (I think? Not like I'm actually going to take the time to count right at this moment), so I'm on pace to hit 100 assuming I don't get too far behind in the next 2 months.  I have several yoga textbooks on my slate which are probably not edge of your seat page turners but are required reading before July.  I also have a GIANT fantasy sequel waiting on deck, and it's equally giant predecessor that I want to re-read to remind myself what is going on.  I'm not complaining when short books bolster my count, but when a 1000 page behemoth still only gets ranked as one I totally call unfair.

Anyway, here's what went down in May:


The Blinding Knife - Brent Weeks
The Troop - Nick Cutter
The Prince of Risk - Christopher Reich
The Expats - Chris Pavone
Ripper - Isabel Allende
Yes Mommy - Amy Sprenger*
Moving Day - Jonathan Stone
Tampa - Alissa Nutting
The Accident - Chris Pavone
Hollow City - Ransom Riggs


 April, March, February, January 






*I actually know her - we're friends, even! She's super funny, and her books are too.  Go buy them!

April In Books

April was a crackerjack month, with 12 books read. I'm thinking the secret to hitting my 100 book goal is more YA novels that are so super easy to read. But still totally count; it's not like I'm putting Pinkalicious on the list. But in the interest of perhaps a wee bit of personal growth, I am going to try and add in some non-fiction, mind-broadening selections. I have tons of parenting and other books on my to read list, but I never get to them because cheap thrillers  and dystopian YA are more fun. They also keep me up reading until 2 am, so from now on I'm going to only let myself read the non-fiction stuff in bed so I'll go to sleep at a reasonable hour. Which means I have to read the good stuff during the day, which of course means I have to cut back on other activities like cleaning. But hey, we all have to make sacrifices sometimes.

What I read in April:

'Til Death Do Us Part- Katie White

Vampire Academy- Richelle Mead 

Deadly Heat- Richard Castle

Once Upon A Lie- Maggie Barbieri

Frostbite- Richelle Mead

Shadow Kiss- Richelle Mead

Blood Promise- Richelle Mead

Sprit Bound- Richelle Mead

Last Sacrifice- Richelle Mead

Mickey Outside - David Lender

Fear Nothing- Lisa Gardner

The Black Prism- Brent Weeks

 

March, February, January 

March Reading

Let's do away with any pretense that I'm keeping up with my New Years resolutions, shall we? March was characterized by a complete abandonment of any attempts at self improvement, and I have the messy house and belly blubber to prove it.  But I'm still plugging away at my reading, so let's keep hope alive that I might get to check one thing off as accomplished this year.

Books I read in March:

Gone- Lisa Gardner

Say Goodbye- Lisa Gardner

Birdman- Mo Hayder

The Treatment- Mo Hayder

Ritual- Mo Hayder

Gone- Mo Hayder

Champion- Marie Lu

Serena- Ron Rash

This Is Where I Leave You- Jonathan Tropper

Frozen Heat- Richard Castle

February, January

February Reading List

I managed 12 books in this, the shortest month of the year, putting me at 23 so far and right on pace to swing 100 this year.  I'm sure my momentum is going to drop when I run up against the yoga texts I have to tackle for my teacher training, but I'm going to ride this binge as long as I can. Plus, I haven't read every single Lisa Gardner book yet, although by the end of the week, I will I have read every single one my library has.

What I read this month:

Days of Blood and Starlight - Laini Taylor

The Maze Runner - James Dashner

He's Gone - Deb Caletti

The Rosie Project - Graeme Simsion

The Husband's Secret - Liane Moriarty

Alone - Lisa Gardner

Hide - Lisa Gardner

The Neighbor - Lisa Gardner

Live to Tell - Lisa Gardner

Love You More - Lisa Gardner

Catch Me - Lisa Gardner

The Killing Hour - Lisa Gardner

 January

January Book Review

I managed to read 11 books this month, and so what if they were all chick lit and YA that took three seconds to read and therefore padded my average? I may not have achieved a single one of my other New Year's resolutions, but at least I've made a respectable beginning towards reading 100 books in 2014.

Books read in January:

Double Cross: the true story of the D-day spies - Ben Macintyre

The Republic of Thieves - Scott Lynch

The 5th Wave - Rick Yancey

 Unbreakable Bond - Gemma Halliday

White Girl Problems - Babe Walker

Queen of Babble - Meg Cabot

Matched - Ally Condie

Crossed - Ally Condie

Reached - Ally Condie

Daughter of Smoke & Bone - Taylor

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - Ransom Riggs

The Counselor

I have long maintained that Ghost Rider is the worst movie, if not ever (I haven't seen every movie after all) then at least in recent history. I'm sure many people would argue that there are tons of worse films, and in terms of basic ineptitude they are no doubt right (straight to DVD anyone?). But I feel that in order to rank as actual WORST, you have to go beyond bad dialogue and plot and special effects (if relevant) and acting. You also have to factor in the talent of the people involved. Sure, Joe Suburbs who just graduated film school is going to crank out some fine schlock with his moms camcorder. But what did you expect? It is only when you have a truly acceptable roster of talent involved- and say what you will about his many horrible films, Nicholas Cage does actually have talent, if poor financial management and discretion in choosing roles- only then can you really manage to make a place holding worst film.

And I think we have a new champion.

Enter, The Counselor. 

Brad Pitt. Michael Fassbender. Penelope Cruz. Javier Bardem. Ridley Scott. Cormac  McFreakinCarthy. Seriously. Not people you typically expect drivel from (you'll notice I didn't mention Cameron Diaz, who is also in this movie but maybe doesn't inspire quite as lofty expectations. Sorry, Cameron).  Honestly, after ending that sentence I just sat staring at the cursor blinking for five minutes because I don't even know what to say about this film.  It's not that it is bad (which it is), it's that it is so incomprehensibly bad I almost can't find words to explain it. 

The basic plot is fine: lawyer gets tangled up in illicit business and dragged down when everything goes wrong. Various duplicitous characters abound. At least, I think that's what it was about. Because literally not one word of dialogue explains what is happening in this movie. Half of the expansive monologues don't even seem to be related to the scene they are in. It is actually quite remarkable I have made such a disconnect between exposition and plot propulsion and actual reality and coherence. I think I would have followed the movie better if it had been in German. Or on mute. 

The closest thing I can think to relate it to is when Joey tried to write a recommendation letter for Monica and Chandler to adopt (on Friends, which I hope I didn't really need to tell you). His letter originally said "they are warm caring people with big hearts" but he used a thesaurus on every word and so ended up with "they are humid prepossessing homo sapiens with full size aortic pumps."  And yes, I did that from memory. 

The dialogue in this movie is similar, except with an element of self absorbed pretension thrown in. Multiple characters wax poetic on various "deep" topics in oblique and entirely nonsensical speeches. I would love to give you some examples, but the words were so insanely thrown together I couldn't remember a sentence I just heard well enough to recreate it, even as it was happening. I'm actually impressed Mr. McCarthy (in his very first original screenplay) managed to write 2 hours worth of dialogue and never once even hint at what was going on, much less offer a coherent thought. It's an accomplishment for sure, just not one I'd recommend paying to witness. 

The movie also features the most ridiculous, far fetched, unerotic sex scene probably ever (which, to be fair might have been the point), as well as an incredibly inventive, if gruesome death.  But boiled down the primary issue rests solely on the writer. If you could redub all the dialogue with relevant, coherent subject matter, you'd be left with only a sub par movie. As it stands it is a triumph of mind boggling confundity.  I would definitely recommend you see this film, if only to have a new bar against which to measure all future terrible movies. But don't pay for it in the theater, wait for it to come out on DVD. 

It won't be long.


The Counselor  R  2hr 57 minutes