Drink This

I have been seeing the following ad in magazines everywhere:

and I really hate it. (If you can't read it it says "an overly caffeinated world deserves a sensibly caffeinated water"). First of all, the eye bugging thing is not only totally gross, but also not quite used correctly. According to almost every cartoon that utilizes the eye pop, it is an expression of shock or disbelief- not anger and frustration as this ad implies. I mean, really, are we supposed to think that this woman is surprised that her kids are fighting over the video game? Doubtful - and seriously, if you are too stupid not to buy one for each kid you deserve all the wars that will result - if you can't afford two, buy none. Secondly, where exactly is the depiction of people being overly caffeinated? Is it saying the kids are fighting because they are all hyped up (and why is she giving her kids caffeine anyway?), or is the mom blowing her top because she had one too many double lattes? It's confusing and stupid. But the third and by far the most grievous error is the tag line. It is not only stupid, but completely contradictory. Yes, this world is over caffeinated, but are they actually suggesting that caffeinated WATER is the solution? That somehow drinking water with caffeine will provide a solution to being over caffeinated? Because I'm not sure how that works. Seems to me the solution to being overly caffeinated is to drink LESS caffeine (or God forbid, even NONE), not put it into products that don't naturally contain it. In my opinion there is a sensibly caffeinated water - it's called water, and it has nothing in it at all. Water doesn't need flavor, or vitamins, or coloring (I've discussed this before), and it certainly doesn't need to have caffeine in it. Stop kidding yourself that you are drinking something healthy just because it says "water" on the label. If you want a sugary, caffeine fix bite the bullet and drink a Coke. As for me, I'll be the one without a racing pulse drinking plain old water from the tap.

Nothing Like Some Good Old Fashioned Bad Customer Service To Make Your Day

I have a problem with Netflix. (I also have a problem with my shift key in that the left one fell off and every time I try to use the right one I hit enter but that is unrelated except in the fact that I published this entry 5 times whie still typing it). Anyway - Netflix is great - I love getting my movies in the mail, and don't really ever have an issue with planning in advance to watch movies rather than being able to go directly to the store and rent one. And since my subscription is always given to me as a gift, it is basically free to me which is great too (thanks Rees and Jen). However, they have some issues with how their gift redemption works. First of all, you can't redeem a new gift subscription while you are still using an old one - you have to wait until the old one is over. Technically you are supposed to be able to apply the new one within the final month, but that fails to work either. So you are left with the option of waiting until your subscription runs out and your credit card gets charged for one month so you can redeem the new gift subscription (which is how over the years I have ended up not being able to use my Christmas gift until May), or you can check back every day and hope that it finally gets accepted. That was the method I chose to utilize this year, and let me tell you how it went. After checking every day for a few weeks, I finally got an email from Netflix telling me the exact date my subscription would end (so now I can just wait for that email every year - yay). I tried on the day it ended - nothing. I tried first thing in the morning the day after it ended - and not only did it not work, but they had already charged my card. Pissed. Then - I learned another ridiculous fact about Netflix - they have no email communication. That's right folks, a company that is completely web based does not have a customer service contact email. Wicked awesome, right? So I had to call them about this issue, which thankfully was fixed right away. However, in order to refund my card the only way they had to fix it was to cancel my account and then just immediately reinstate it with the gift subscription. This seems like poor planning to me, but I said okay because the woman assured me that nothing would actually change on my account. Well, she was either stupid or a liar, because, as you might expect when an account is cancelled, so are all of the movies saved in the queue. Super pissed. So now I have to try and remember all of the random movies I once thought sounded good and put onto my list - which let me tell you is not my forte. It sometimes takes me weeks to remember new movies to put on there despite seeing ads for them several times a dayand reading Entertainment Weekly, weekly. So I am pretty disappointed with Netflix - not enough to stop using them just yet, but enough to hope that millions of people somehow read this and boycott, forcing them to rethink the ineptitude of their customer service. They should take a note from one of my favorite shopping websites, Zappos, which says right on its home page that it is a service company that just happens to sell shoes, bags, clothes, etc. Clearly, Netflix is a movie company that is trying its best to ignore the fact that it is on the web.

The Results, Right After This Brainless Blabbing

Last night I tuned in to the last few minutes of American Idol to see who was voted off (not that I really care too much since my favorites are already gone - who thought at the beginning I'd be rooting for David Cook?). Anywa, in those few minutes, Iactually got so bored that I had to change the channel back to Top Chef. I understand that shows like American Idol want to ratchet up the suspense by putting off reading the results of the elimintaion for as long as possible, but come on - it is really getting ridiculous. I would in all honesty rather watch commercials than Syesha talking about having a black or woman President. How is that even relevant? Is she actually trying to compare the American Idol to the highest position in our country, cause it's a good show in all, but not quite on the same level as Commander in Chief. I really didn't want to see either of the rejects talkin g baout anything unless it was Jason's next haircut or Sy-Jeeesh why am I still here-a discussing how much it cost her to buy more votes than Brooke and Carly. Seriously - she made the top 3? So not right. But to the point, can we please dispense with the blabber from these contestants. We obviously don't care about their personalities - they got the lowest votes for a reason. So just air more stupid banter between Ryan and the judges, or another terrible performane by the guest "mentor" (seriously, is it just me or do all the professionals they get on this show perform really badly?), throw in more commercials for So You Think You Can Dance (yay!!!!) and get on with giving the boot.


ps: Dear God - I would love to see a woman President at some point. Just please don't make it Hillary. I think she might actually signal the End of Days, and nobody wants the four Horseman of the Apocalypse appointed to the cabinet.

Honey, This Here Talking Box Ain't Got No Ears!

I have a problem with all of these new commercials suggesting people with antenna tvs buy a special box to allow them to keep their television when the airwaves start broadcasting digital. Why not just go to these people's houses and rob them? Clearly they are banking on anyone who still owns an antenna tv being stupid enough to pay for a completely ridiculous product - it's like selling adapters for those old 2 lb cell phones my dad had 20 years ago or Windows for an IBM 5150. But it still feels tacky. I mean, obviously these people are having serious issues with adapting to the modern age of technology - they are using ANTENNAS, after all - but c'mon, does that mean we have to totally rip them off? I think maybe we should do them a real service, let their ancient, ridiculous boob tubes die out and force them to enter into the new century by buying a new television. Maybe some of them will even get up off their rumps and learn to live without tv - who knows?

Damn You...

Damn you Vince Flynn. Damn you for writing such engaging stories that I stay up until 3 am reading and then am tired all day and can't properly play with my children. Damn you and all of your books that are so exciting that I have to finish them even when it is late and I am sleepy because I know that if I wait until the next day I will finish it too quickly and then will be upset because there isn't more to read. And damn you for not having more books because I have read them all and still want more. I am tired and grumpy and without exciting books to read now, and it is all your fault.

Gesund-Here's Some Medicine

There is a new product from Benadryl for children that has premeasured amounts in individual containers that makes it easier to give to your kids when you are on the go. In general I think this is a pretty good idea, however there are some issues. First of all, where are you going so often that you have to carry the Benadryl with you? I mean it lasts 6 hours, so you think you could probably avoid having to carry it with you at all times. Secondly, since it makes almost everyone drowsy (eveny the non drowsy versions send me into an antihistimine coma) do you really want to be giving it to your kids when you are at the park? They are likely to pass out and fall of the slide. But my main issue is with the commercial. It shows two moms at the park and one kids comes up and sneezes so the mom whips out the huge bag of medicine to give her kids something for the sneezing but she can't find anything in her mess of a medicine bag. The other mom's kid comes up and he sneezes, and she has this convenient single serving Benadryl so she gives it to her kid and lends one to the other mom as well. I think this commercial demonstrates a terrible sign of overmedication. I mean obviously we are supposed to think that these kids have demonstrated allergies before, but seriously - one sneeze does not neccessitate Benadryl. And I can't think of any reason to have an entire medicince cabinet in my purse unless my kids are terminally ill - in which case we are probably not playing at the park. People today are so desperate to alleviate any possible sign of illness - get over it people. Kids cough and sneeze sometimes - we all do. It doesn't mean we have allergies and it certainly shouldn't be met with an immediate application of Benadryl. All that is going to do is make your kids high, and possibly learn to fake it in order to get medicine. I know people whose kids start coughing every night in order to get cough drops. And you are crazy if you think overmedicating your kid is better than letting them get sick once in a while.

That Coffee Looks Like A Sandwich

I saw a commercial for McDonalds coffee the other night during an airing of Bones. It featured a bunch of people in a park meditating with the typical "om" humming, and then pans over to someone who is humming "mmm" and eating an egg mcmuffin. Then it goes into the joys of McDonalds coffee. I fid it a bit odd that never once in teh commercial does anyone partke of the target item. If you look very carefully you can see that the guy has some coffee on the ground next to him, but he is mainly completely absorbed in his breakfast sandwich and at no time does he take a drink. At the end when he walks by and entices the meditaters (is that a word? it is now) by the smells of his breakfast - it is the bag that is the center of attention. And last I checked you don't usually put coffee in the bag. I found all of this pretty weird - I mean if the whole point of your ad is to feature the coffee, shouldn't that be what the people are enjoying and smelling and, hey call me crazy, drinking?