The King Gets it Right

Burger King has managed to provide and example of how cross promotion with Twilight can be done right. Their ads about Team Edward vs Team Jacob, and everyone coming together over burgers are hilarious to me. Maybe that is only because I'm totally not into the whole Twilight dealie so I don't get it, but I think they are clever. The ad adeptly advertises New Moon as well as Burger King, and it is clear in doing both. No confusion, no feeling of patronizing or pandering, just a clever ad for two products.

Pizza Talk

Papa Murphy's has a new Chicago Style stuffed pizza. I give you a moment to study:

Now, here is what a REAL Chicago stuffed pizza (a la Giordanos)looks like:



There is no comparison. In my opinion the first one looks like a taco or something - it bears no resmeblance to pizza at all, much less the delectable, cheesy goodness of an authentic Chicago style stuffed pizza. So there you have it. Papa Murphy's has neither Chicago style nor pizza. Discuss.

update 11/22/9: I have just seen this ad again, and am enraged anew. Why can you not just call it stuffed pizza? Why do you have to denigrate the name of Chicago style pizza with this travesty? I understand that a REAL Chicago style pizza is not conducive to the whole "take and bake" thing - it needs a special pan, it bakes for a really long time, etc. SO DON"T MAKE ONE. Jerks. On behalf of Chicago I want to sue Papa Murphy's for libel or defamation or whatever. False advertising at the very least. Grrrr

A Touch Of Salt, A Lot Of Yummy

This chocolate bar caught my eye the other day:



I had a coupon, and I was intrigued, so I bought a bar. Wow. This is some yummy chocolate. There are definite salt crystals in it, but rather than feeling the grit or anything, you just get these little spots that seem meltier, and savorier than the rest. So good. If you like chocolate, I totally recommend this*. Or I recommend you stay away, depending on your willpower!

*I was not compensated in anyway for this post

Who Carries Around A Penny? Honestly

Arby's has a new deal that I think involves a value meal of some sort, or maybe just a sandwich (Arby's is 'xspensive ya'll) or wahtever and it costs $5.01. And various people are saying oh the penny is for the cheese, or the roast beef or whatever blah ditty blah blah. It is a stupid premise and it bugs. Because it is obvious what the penny is for: to be a PAIN IN THE ASS. Seriously Arby's are you really doing us a favor by requiring that we have a SINGLE FREAKING PENNY? Just quit with the cute and make it $5, or if you have figured out that you need that penny to turn a profit or whatever go ahead and make it $5.25 or some other reasonable amount. Otherwise you can have my penny after I stick it where the sun don't shine. Um. On you. Not me. That was awkward. Whatever, you know what I meant. This whole idea is Lame (haha get it, with a capital L?). And while you're at it, lose the stupid commercial.

This Commercial Makes Your Brain Look Smaller

So I'm sure you have seen the Burger King commercials featuring the guy with tiny hands, and while I do think this is an amusing idea (it always makes me think of Austin powers and carnies - smell of cabbage, very small hands, haha!), I do think they got it backwards. Isn't the point of the ad that the dollar burgers at the King are so much bigger than the dollar burgers everywhere else? So shouldn't it be someone with extra large hands and his friends say don't worry, eat this burger and they will look smaller? Or is it supposed to be that the burger is so big the tiny hands can't even hold it? I'm confused. And now I want a Whopper. Great.

You Know, The Ad For The Stuff

I love the commercial for Chef Boyardee where the mom is trying to prevent the dad from saying it has a full serving of vegetables right in front of the kid so he won't stop eating. She keeps randomly going "psssst." to istrct him or banging pots and pans to cover the sound of his talking. And the whole time she has this intense look in her eyes at her husband, just trying to telepathically communicate the "shut up" message. It is awesome. Because as any parent knows, there is nothing worse that accidentally saying something you don't want your kids to hear, either because they love it or hate it. And of course, spelling only works for so long until they learn to still decipher what you are saying (B_A_T_H, anyone?). I personally have given my husband "the look" many times while saying cleverly disguised messages like "maybe later we can go to the place with the thing that the kids like, BUT DON"T SAY IT, because we might not be able to go, but let's plan on it for right now, BUT DON"T SAY IT, just in case because if they hear it then we have to go." Sometimes he gets it, but usually he just stares at me like the dad in the commercial like he has no idea why I've gone crazy or what I'm talking about and perhaps he should check me for stroke. Occassionally, he will say the forbidden word like I didn't just tell him not to say it a hundred times and shoot important sshhh daggers with my eyes, but that happened more in the beginning before we got to be so good at being parents and developed the super secret code I demonstrated above.

But WHY Is It Black?

Can anyone clear up the confusion I am having about the Taco Bell Black Taco? Is it just a regular taco with a black shell or does it have a special flavor? Is it black for Halloween? I don't get it. The commercials are all about showing off the new black taco, but they are forgetting one crucial element - actually SELLING the taco. Why do we want it? Why do we need it? This, I believe, is a basic tenet of advertising; tell teh consumer about the product in such a way that they feel they cannot live without it. I can live without a black taco if it's only purpose is to prove you can dye the shit out of a taco shell. The ads are all "oooh, black taco" but they don't really make it seem interesting or appealing at all. It's just black. Whoop de freakin doo. So I don't get it. Stunt? New flavor? Either way, the ad is a huge FAIL.

I'll Eat The Soup If I Can Paint My Kitchen

So, I'm sure you've seen the commercial where the guy gets dragged across the kitchen floor and into his chair to demonstrate his reluctance to try low sodium Campbell's soup. Well, can you please explain to me why everything in the ad aside from the soup (kitchen setting, tables, chairs, dishes, the people's clothes etc) is beige or white? Are they representing the excess of sodium in the world? Would regular colors distract from the soup? I don't understand.

Um, I'll Stick With The Donuts

I love Dunkin Donuts, and for that reason some of their commercials make me sad. They have been advertising their new egg white sandwiches, and I have to say I have never seen less appetizing food in a ommercials attempting to sell it. These things look flat and tasteless, and a bit like they are made with cardboard instead of pita or flatbread or whatever it is. They sound good, but they really need to work on the glamour shots of their food.


ps: interesting I have two donut titles in the past week - what am I thinking about?

Stop Feeding Yourself And Help Feed Others

Like many reality shows, The Biggest Loser is working with a charity. But I find it ironic that the one they have chosen is Feeding America - which donates money and food to local food banks.

I'll Take A Donut, But I Pass On The Jeans

There is a SlimFast commercial currently airing that features a woman fighting off giant donuts to illustrate how SlimFast gives you the power to refuse treats by eliminating hunger for four hours. I have two problems with this ad: the first is that when she gives a big kick to a donut (and yes I know I'm spelling it wrong - it's the slang way and it's faster, deal) she aims it dead center and the donut flies apart. Now, I could be wrong, not being all that acquainted with donuts (haha), but don't they have a big hole in the middle? And if you really kicked at the middle would your leg just go into the hole? It may be a dumb issue but it bugs me. The other thing I don't like is that they have her in mid rise jeans (ie mom jeans) that are at least one size too small, with her shirt tucked in. I realize this is so that when she tightens her belt to accentuate losing weight we can see it - but the result is that a woman with a perfectly nice figure ends up looking dumpy. And maybe the point is to show she still has weight to lose, but it certainly doesn't flatter her figure. Personally I think weight loss tools are better served by showing people who are already at their best - which this woman would be if she had the correct size of pants.

Smarts - None, Fiber - Yes

FiberOne has some vaguely funny ads where people refuse to believe that the FiberOne product they are eating has any fiber in it. The best of these is about the yogurt - and a cranky old lady who says that you must have to eat the box to get the fiber. They also have a lame add where a guy is writing on theFiberOne cereal boxes to make it read Fiber None. Now, as a selling point on something that doesn't obviously contain fiber (ie the yogurt) this would be funny - on cereal, which is made of grains and pretty clearly is going to contain at least some fiber, it is just stupid. And annoying to me because it doesn't comply with logic, and we all know how I like my logic.

Uggghnuts

So McDonald's has these new commercials where people who are really crazy about chicken mcnuggets are called "nuggnuts." Now, I think it is weird enough anyone would be that into chicken nuggets when you can get chicken tenders from Burger King or the popcorn chicken at KFC which are both vastly superior. But basically, I think "nuggnuts" sounds like a pretty decent insult. I definitely wouldn't want to be called that, and I think in certain areas calling teh wrong person a nuggnut would get you punched in the mouth. So I have to say these commercials are less than effective, as it seems counterintuitive for a restaurant to be denigrating their customers for liking one of their products. I do however like the ad with the faux R&B video where the guy sings about his girlfriend sneaking out at night not to cheat, but to get mcnuggets. That one is kind of amusing.

Wendy's Gets Off The Short Bus

I have some hope for Wendy's commercials yet: their latest ads feature comments on the economy as compared to the value menu. The best one features two guys sitting around eating the $.99 cheeseburger and one says to the other that his burger has already appreciated in value. To make his point he asks for a dollar from the second guy, who complies. Then he asks if he can have the second guy's burger, and when he won't give it to him, he says that proves his point. Pretty clever. So either Wendy's has ditched the dingbats they previously had in charge of their marketing campaign in favor of smarter, more clever folks, or the stupidity of earlier ads was just a temporary affliction. Regardless, when the ads are better the viewers win. Yay!

The McDonalds of Danish

Yesterday we treatd ourselves to a danish form the local grocery store bakery and it was the worst I've ever had. Stale and dry, with almost none of the delicious cheese it was supposed to feature. Even though previous purchases from the bakery have been good, we have decided that from now on we will stick with Entenmann's - always consistent, always delicious, always reliable. Maybe not the most exciting, but you know what you are going to get and you get it every time.

Logic Is Not On The Menu

I have commented on the stupidity of Wendy's commercials before. Well, there is a new one bugging me. In it, 'Wendy' asks: "If warm chicken is good, and cold, crunchy veggies are good, then wouldn't a warm chicken, cold crunchy veggie salad be good good?" Well, I'll tell you Wendy, the answer is no. Because when you put warm chicken on cold crunchy veggies, you get warm soggy veggies, and they most definitely are not good. I don't know who is running their current ad campaign, but they are clearly trying to sound smart and logical without possessing an ounce of common sense.

I Think You Think You Are Special

I have to comment on the new ad for the Burger King Steakhouse burger. In it two men are eating the burger and a woman comes up to ask what they did to deserve it. The first gave half of his salary to charity, but the second replies that he was just hungry. So she wallops him. This is very stupid but I laugh every time it comes on. I'm not sure if it is the slap itself or just the incredibly awkward way she performs it that is funny to me but it gets me every time. Plus, such outrage over the "arrogance" of just eating a hamburger is so silly. As is the tagline - "so good people might think you think you're special." Just pay attention to the slaps - especially the second one to the back of the head - seriously the least elegant attack ever.

These Ads Deserve A Klondike

I love the ads for 'Klondike bars. They aren't new, but haven't been on in quite a while and I am glad they are back. They feature people performing extremely mundane tasks (a man managing to listen to his wifes rambling story, another man not looking at a hot girl that walks by his table) and then saying those people deserve a Klondike br for their heroic behavior. Love it. And of course, writing about these terrific ads is a quite a feat in itself - I think I deserve a Klondike bar. Or six.

That Coffee Looks Like A Sandwich

I saw a commercial for McDonalds coffee the other night during an airing of Bones. It featured a bunch of people in a park meditating with the typical "om" humming, and then pans over to someone who is humming "mmm" and eating an egg mcmuffin. Then it goes into the joys of McDonalds coffee. I fid it a bit odd that never once in teh commercial does anyone partke of the target item. If you look very carefully you can see that the guy has some coffee on the ground next to him, but he is mainly completely absorbed in his breakfast sandwich and at no time does he take a drink. At the end when he walks by and entices the meditaters (is that a word? it is now) by the smells of his breakfast - it is the bag that is the center of attention. And last I checked you don't usually put coffee in the bag. I found all of this pretty weird - I mean if the whole point of your ad is to feature the coffee, shouldn't that be what the people are enjoying and smelling and, hey call me crazy, drinking?

Warm Delights, Cold Comfort

I have a little bit of a problem with the commercials for Betty Crocker Warm Delights. They feature a variety of women (pregnant in the kitchen, single by the tv) sitting at home alone eating these little cakes. Now we all know that these products are marketed to women - who else is typicaly going to eat an entire cake? And yes, I have eaten my share of these, especially while pregnant. My question is - can we please try to jazz up the situations we might find ourselves in while eating these for the commercials? We know that pregnant or tired moms will indulge in chocolate, as will lonely ladies who are dateless on Saturday night (I've been that too). But does it have to be rubbed in? Beer commercials don't show fat guys sitting on their boxers watching baseball in their lazy boys while they don a six pack. Instead they feature glamorous situations with hot girls so the guys feel like maybe they will be cooler if they have that brand of beer. Can't we have a little suspension of reality too? We know the types of situations when we are likely to sit around shoving chocolate cake in our mouths, and they aren't the most glamorous, but would it kill the ads to gloss over that a little? After all, nobody loves gloss like tha ladies.