Lyric-huh?

There is a commercial for a new drug called Lyrica that has me confused. The drug is for fibromyalgia and it shows a woman in an art studio (I think she teaches classes in painting). She is reading an entry from a diary about the pain from fibromyalgia. My question is: who is this woman and why should I trust her knowledge of this drug? Usually characters in pharmaceutical commercials fall into two categories - a doctor or someone who suffers from the problems the drug supposedly fixes. That way you either have expert opinions or first hand testimony. But that is never clear in this commercial. Is the woman reading from her own diary or someone else's? Why is she teaching art? She never once says that she feels much better since she has been taking Lyrica so I don't fell like she has the disease and can really convince me the drug works, and as far as I know art teachers are not trustworthy judges or pharmaceutical efficacy. And the final straw is the woman's squeaky voice. Annoying all around.

A Classic Trend

There is a clear trend this winter of using the characters from the old TV Christmas classics like rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman in advertising. They have popped up in numerous commercials for Big Lots and Alltel, with varying degrees of success. My favorite, however, is the one for Aflac, where Rudolph has been injured and the duck (or is he a goose?) has to fill in. Aflac commercials are consistently among my favorites - love the one with the sheep - and this doesn't fail to amuse me. Oddly enough I never really cared for the Christmas shows themselves. I guess I can only tolerate the characters in 30 second spots.

Truth in Advertising

Shouldn't there be a little more truth in advertising these days? Ads for wrinkle cream should have old people in them, or at least someone over 35. I understand the motivation, and I certainly prefer looking at attractive people much more than I do total dogs, but there should still be some relevance in the people cast and the product they are selling. I'm pretty sure there are some models out there over the age of 50. Maybe it's her, maybe it's Maybelline? Well guess what? It's her. I can buy all the Maybelline I want- it ain't gonna make me look like those girls do. Commercials for cleaning products are also to blame. Squirting ink on a shirt seconds before washing it doesn't indicate stain fighting effectiveness - no stain sets that fast. And spraying cleanser on spills that are obviously fresh isn't helpful either - i could wipe that up with a paper towel alone. Show me some real, ground in messes! One particular commercial that has been brought to my attention is for Tide Pure Essentials with baking soda. It features a little boy and his blankie and the voice over is saying that the blankie is dirty and tattered, etc, except that it is clearly brand new. Would it have killed them to get an old blankie? Or at least drag the new one around the parking lot a few times to actually get it dirty? Stupid.

Star Power

Obviously, using celebrities to sell your items has been in practice since the dawn of advertising. "Real life testimonials" have also been popular, and it was only a matter of time until the two concepts were combined. The most evident of these are the Geico commercials where bizarre celebrities (Little Richard, Charo) are used to help regular customers tell their stories. I find these fairly enjoyable - it varies depending on the celebrity but overall they are pretty funny. The most recent addition to the crossover genre in Dell, which features a young guy talking about wanting a Dell computer. Burt Reynolds suddenly interrupts him, telling us he can't hear him because he isn't famous. Then Burt goes on the suggest using Dell's star power to convince people to buy you a Dell (Chuck Liddell as the "Hard Sell" and Brooke Burke as the "Soft Sell"). I like this commercial for several reasons - first it is amusing. Second, it isn't actually selling Dell; it assumes you already want one and so it is just telling you how to get someone to buy it for you. I think this assumption of desire serves well to subconciously plant the idea in people's heads that they want a Dell. And thirdly, who doesn't love a chance to see Burt Reynolds? (man, it's hard to type sarcastically)

Sissy Boy Truck

They have brought back the Toyota Tacoma commercial which shows two guys eating in their car and one of them places a drink on the dash, whereby the driver puts a coaster underneath it. The intended message is that the tacoma is more luxurious inside than your average truck. The message delivered is quite different, however. First, by placing the drink on the dash, it seems as though the truck doesn't have cup holders - a feature found on pretty much every vehicle, and one that most people enjoy and would be sorry to lose. Not a good selling point (and false since according to one discussion I found there are 9 cupholders in the tacoma). Second, the finicky owner sends a message that only sissy boys who worry about water rings drive this truck. Probably a worse selling point. Thirdly, the guys are sitting in a driveway eating - why don't they just go in the house? Not really a selling point at all, but stupid nonetheless.

Holi-Dumb

The Hyundai Holi-Duh sales even has to be one of the stupidest ideas ever. Are you calling us stupid for not buying your cars? Great way to get me to buy one. And who came up with this cast of characters 'duhhing' their way trough the Christmas classics? The guy whose sideburns are clearly drawn on? Crazy wide eyes? And of course, my favorite - the old man who is at least one hundred and twelve and who can't even lip synch the duhs with everyone else. These commercials get a big Duh from me but not in the way they are hoping. More in a "oh they got cancelled? DUH!" way.

Rise and Shop

Well, it's here: the biggest shopping day of the year. When all of the stores open early for special sales, and legions of idiots line up to buy things that have been available for weeks and will still be available for weeks to come. Many of the stores have been advertising that they will open at 6 am, but two stores (Kohl's and JC Penney) have decided to get a jump on things by opening even earlier, at 4 am!!! Who seriously needs to buy Christmas presents so badly today that they are going to get up and go shopping at 4 am? Insane. If I was in charge of teh stores I would run a "sale" at that time and mark everything up by 15%. If people are so stupid as to get up that early than I want to take advantage of their sleep deprivation and limited reasoning skills to rip them off. They deserve it. As for me - I think I'll take advantage of the wonders of the internet to do all my shopping online where I never have to deal with lines or crowds or parking, and the stores are open 24 hours a day.