Master Card Priceless

Here’s a commercial for MasterCard that I think needs to get made:
Prenatal care: $1250
Ultrasound: $530
Hospital Stay: $8000
Meeting Your Son: priceless

Or with a little humor -
Prenatal vitamins:$6
Prenatal yoga tapes: $20
Lamaze coach: $50
Epidural - priceless

Freaky Fruits

I can't quite decide if I like or loathe the Fruit of the Loom commercials. The idea of the guys in fruit suits being rock stars or whatever is kind of funny, but some of the commercials are really weird. For example, what is up with the commercial where they are in concert and Grape's cell phone rings? The lyrics to the song are amusing enough so I don't understand why that was thrown in. Maybe they couldn't figure out how to end the song, or else there is a whole backstory there we aren't getting. The other one I don't get is the one where they are all sitting around reading fan letters, and somebody sends Apple (the clear fan favorite) an apple pie. Does this strike anyone else as odd? I for one don't understand why the apple would want to eat an apple pie. Creepy.

Obvious Insight

I am not enjoying the current commercials for Match.com for several reasons. First, they are stupid. Second, they are annoying. The random people doing random things does not spark my interest and in fact makes me think that if those are the losers I might meet on the website then I'll stay as far away as possible, thank you very much. But the most annoying thing is the advertising of "insights by Dr. Phil." Now, I'm not a Dr. Phil fan by any means, but I can't fault him for making millions just for telling people things they already know. Come on though - let's not call it insight, people. If someone walks past me and trips, and I point and say "you tripped," I'm not being insightful, I'm just being observative. If someone comes to me and complains that they only date losers and I tell them to meet better people without offering any advice on how to do it, then not only am I not being insightful, I'm also kind of a jerk. But hey, if the dingbats out there are buying, so be it. Where do I get in line to sell?

Orville Redencreepy

I am so glad that Redenbacher popcorn has stopped running the uber-creepy commercials that featured a CG version of founder Orville Redenbacher. What were they thnking? I mean really, the guy is dead - get a new (alive) family member, or change tactics althogether. I'm not sure I have ever seen anything so icky as those commercials, and clearly the advertisers agreed since they pulled the campaign in favor of old commercials featuring the real man. I think this campaign ranks up there with the all time bad advertising decisions - the winner of which is M&M's refusal to allow Steven Spielberg to use their product in E.T. Sure worked out nicely for Reese's pieces, but I bet whoever made that decision got fired.

Writer's Block

The strike is on in Hollywood and there are no writers for tv, movies, whatnot. While it is hard to sympathize with anyone in Hollywood since they all seem to be billionaires, the producers offer of small percentages because the current revenues are small is asinine. A percentage is a percentage right? If the takes are small the payout is small and if they are large... Anyway, I better get to work on my screen play.

God Save the King

Always a fan of Burger King, I have enjoyed their wonderfully bizarre mascot in their commercials. Especially the one for their breakfast sandwiches where a guy opens his window shade and The King is standing there smiling and hands him a sandwich. So odd and slightly creepy yet funny. The new campaign with the housewives trying to knock him off is good too. Not necesarily the one where they try to hire a hitman, but the one where they try to run him down with a minivan is pretty silly.

Forget This

I really hate the current commercial for Lowes’ that features a woman who is apparently deranged or a total moron, pantomiming all of the Christmas items she needs. It is offensive to people who actually suffer from memory issues (and stupid people), and annoying to everyone else. I also really hate the Little Caesar’s commercial where the woman gets out of the car and grills the poor guy standing on the street that the special price is good everyday (Monday? Yes. Tuesday? Yes. Chinese New Year? Yes. Etc). I’m not sure what bothers me more – that she won’t just accept it and get back in her car or the fact that the guy just keeps answering and never just slaps her. That’s what I would have to do, which explains why I’m no longer in customer service.