Seven

There is a new movie coming out called Nine - you may have seen some trailers for it since it features a ton of big names in roles (Penelope Cruz, Judi Dench, Nicole Kidman, Daniel Day-Lewis). It is about a man and the SEVEN women in his life. And to that I just have to say WTF? Shouldn't there be nine women - could they really not come up with two more? or maybe we could just call it Seven (which I realize has been done before, but hey, there's a film in theaters right now called 9, so what's the difference?). I don't get it. Admittedly, I know next to nothing about this film, and i haven't been able to find much online in the way of synopsis since I keep getting results for "9" and of course I don't want to spend more than two minutes doing "research" anyway. I think there is something about the main guy workng on his ninth play or something, so I'm assuming that is where the title comes from, but seeing as the entire focus of the movie is his relationship with all the different women in his life, shouldn't the title reflect that a wee bit more? Ie, shouldn't there be nine freaking women? I find this an assault on my sens of logic and balance and will most likely not see the film because of it. ok, I probably wouldn't have seen it anyway, but this doesn't help.

I Don't Like This Show, Not That I've Ever Really Watched It**

I am not a big fan of NCIS. I will watch all of the other procedural shows - the Law and Order series, the CSI series (although not Miami so much cause Caruso blows), but I just can’t get behind NCIS. I have only seen it all the way through once, with snippets of other episodes, and it just seems dull, with lame characters, bad dialogue, and cases that are boring and either obvious to the watcher, or the cast just instantly solves it five minutes from the end with no explanation as to how. But the thing that bothers me the most is the way they have chosen to stage the autopsy scenes. First of all, they are always standing over a body that has its chest flaps wide open and having long discussions about evidence or whatnot. This seems a little gratuitous, but hey it’s and autopsy, whatever. What’s is not forgivable, however, is that instead of just covering the lower half of the corpse with a sheet like virtually every other show does, they just hav a bright light shining on the genital area, ostensibly so bright that the naughty bits are visible. This is a really stupid decision for two reasons. First, it completely doesn’t work. Yeah, there is a light obscuring the area, but not enough to disguise the fact that these corpses are going to make a Ken doll look well endowed. And secondly, the director/producer/person in charge of this brilliant decision seem to have forgotten that whole concept that bright lights draw your attention. So basically every time one of these scenes is on, which is a lot, and they are LOOOOOONG, I spend the whole time staring at the lit section and wondering where all the bits are and why they can’t just be covered like on every other show so I can focus on the plot (whatever plot there is). Very distracting and irritating.
On a similar note of criticizing shows that I really have never watched, I caught a few bits of two separate JAG episodes the other day and I have some questions. In the first, one of the characters received a fax accidentally that held the itinerary of a visiting dignitary. It was sent to the wrong number by someone I assume was planning to kill this person, and when the killer showed up to get it, she just handed it over tra la la. Now, I have heard all kinds of good things about this show when it was on, so I’m wondering if it was always this stupid or was this just an off episode. Because honestly, a highly secure military office probably would not just hand over what was obviously privileged information even if it had gotten it erroneously. These are lawyers - wouldn’t they have shredded it immediately and assumed that whoever was supposed to get it would be able to get another copy? And how did the killer even figure out a) what wrong number he typed and b) where that was? Bad. The other clip I saw was from the very end of an episode, and it featured the main guy in a shoot out in alley with some gang bangers. Now, isn’t he a military lawyer? Why is he involved in a civilian gun fight? I would like to know how the plot there in that one.

*By the way, Laird, I totally wrote and posted this before we even talked. So weird.


**update 6/15/9: after my beloved auntie told me NCIS was actually very good, I decided to give it another chance and actually watch a whole episode whie also paying attention. I am now completely obsessed and watch it everyday.